Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Win A Publishing Package HERE            

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of “All that Glitters is Not Gold” (without using the actual phrase or literal example). (01/24/08)

TITLE: The Bootiful Waitress
By Sharon Henderson
01/28/08


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

“You look bootiful. Bootiful just like the pwincesses at Diswee Whirl.” Four-year-old Amanda’s eyes darted between the blonde haired waitress and her mother. “Doesn’t she Mommy?”

“You think I look like a princess from Disney World?” Jaymie’s eyes smiled at Amanda, who shook her head up and down like a yo-yo. “Thank you. I think you’re beautiful, too. I’m going to bring you a special dish of ice cream if it’s okay with your mom.”

Amanda’s mom winked at Jaymie, “Sure. That would be fine.”

As Jaymie headed to the kitchen, the boys at table three whistled at her. “Can we get some help from the prettiest girl in the place?”

“Hold your horses, fellas. I’ve got to get a princess-to-be some ice cream.”

As she faded from view, the guys leaned in across the table and whispered among themselves.

“She is seriously hot.”
”Gorgeous. I want that!”
”How do you describe looking like her?”
“She’s mine. You guys back off.”
”You’d never get a date with her.”

“You gentlemen talking about me?” While they babbled, they had not noticed that Jaymie had delivered the ice cream, and was ready to take their order. “Who can’t get a date?” Her eyelids fluttered as she gazed at each of the young men.

“Uh, ah…” Several of them actually blushed.

“What’ll you hunks have for lunch today?”

When Jaymie wrapped up their order, she twirled around and stood face to face with Vince, the co-owner and day-shift manager. “You giving those boys some of the attention reserved for me?”

“Never. I have more than enough flirting to go around.” Her smile was unstoppable.

Back in the kitchen, another waitress, Marisa, sighed. “How do you do it? You make everyone’s day here. I guess if I had your good looks people would notice me, too.”

“Sweetie, if you only knew. If you only knew. Now go out there and just have FUN!” Marisa and Jaymie encouraged each other throughout the remainder of their shift.

“Tips were great again today.” Jaymie could not believe the lifestyle she led just because she looked like a beauty queen when she worked at the Bistro. If they only knew.

She got in her small BMW and headed back to her loft apartment that overlooked the park. She was eager to get home and take it all off.

Take it off and be who she really was.

Just before she collapsed on the couch exhausted, she looked in the mirror and slowly removed the long blond wig that covered her bald head and tossed it on the recliner. “Your hair will grow back thicker and stronger after the chemo.” That’s what the oncologist had said. Unfortunately, she was one of the few who never did get it back.

Jaymie gradually made her way to the sink where she carefully removed her layers of make-up. If that little twit girl had called me a ‘princess’ one more time, I was gonna kick her. The skin cancers had been removed ‘just in time’. I guess I should be glad they didn’t have to remove my face, but I’d much rather not have to wear this goop just to make a decent living.

At last, she headed to her bedroom. After flipping on the light switch, she began to change her clothes. As she removed her special mastectomy bra and the insertable breast forms, she sneered, “Don’t those jerk teenage boys have anything better to do then gawk at ‘hot’ women?” Then she spoke to her reflection, “Well, Sugar, at least you look good when you work. Can you imagine what the tips would be like if you went to work looking like you do right now? Guess I’d better get some sleep so I’m prepared to face all the idiots again tomorrow.”


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 619 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Laury Hubrich 01/31/08
This is a very sad woman but you are certainly right on topic.
Laury
Debbie Wistrom02/01/08
Wow, such a twist on the proverb. Thanks for sharing this sad sad tale.
Joanne Sher 02/02/08
Very creative take on the topic - she certainly was NOT gold - her attitude OR her looks. Very nicely done.
Kristen Hester02/03/08
Great story. I was really liking the interaction of the waitress with the little girl and the customers. I could picture her flirting, being friendly and fun. It was shocking to see the change in her looks and attitude when she got home. You're right on topic. Great writing. God bless.
jodie banner02/05/08
This entry is difficult to comment on for me because it required multiple reads to connect the two aspects of the characters personality. This is definately a great take on this weeks topic.I have to think that the attitude change was from backgroung issues with other peoples reactions to her post cancer appearance or her inability to deal with her lost beauty. Great, thought provoking writing.
K. J. Cash02/05/08
Right on target with the theme. This story begs for part II. Something good needs to happen to that waitress. Even though she has a bad attitude, I feel sorry for her. You made me care! :0)
Karen Wilber 02/05/08
The ending was different from what I expected - cancer survivor with bad attitude instead of the heroic, selfless survivor. Interesting take on the topic. Liked how the dialogue built up expectations.
Jan Ackerson 02/05/08
Oooh, good job, you really led us astray, and I love that!
william price02/05/08
You really got me with this one. Great dialogue, charcaterization and a super super ending. Hit topic right on as well. God bless.
Joy Faire Stewart02/06/08
I knew something unexpected was going to happen at the end but you still surprised me. Excellent job!
Sara Harricharan 02/06/08
WOW! I didn't think that she'd had chemo or something, I just figured that she was using makeup to cover scars from a past life or something. A thoroughly wonderful read. The end is so cynical, it brings the character to life. Nice job! ^_^
Holly Westefeld02/06/08
Sad, but you made it believable.
Loren T. Lowery02/06/08
If only she could have a change of heart how much more "bootiful" she would be.
James Dixon02/07/08
"Bootiful" happens to be the advertising tag for Bernard Mathews Norfolk turkeys- a big brand over here.

This piece was certainly no turkey. It was fantastic how you peeled off the mask to reveal physical and emotional ugliness beneath.