The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
02/02/08
Great dialog especially. Glad the MC found her voice. That teacher certainly needed to hear what she had to say.
You have a talent for conveying emotions. I could feel Amisha's sorrow and disappointment. The ending was excellent.
02/05/08
I see a lot of talent here and creativity here. You drew me into the story. Just something to consider: it is written in first person with the child telling her own story. This might have been the same thing that drew me in, but I'm not sure that even gifted kids think in terms of, for example, clipped and serious.

Her voice was so grown up. I have oldest daughters who are miniature adults, but they still slip up and use a wrong word and keep right on going just like they know it all. They also make logical connections in their mind that result in the most bizarre of conclusions.
02/06/08
I love the way you describe the setting in your story. YOu have a way of putting me there. I loved this part:
Her face had the decency to flare an icy pink. “I only wish you were worthy of such praise.”
HOw convicting...that I could be worthy of the praise others claim of me. Yikes. Great piece on the topic.
02/06/08
Very good, especially with voice and pacing.
I love your vivid language, and, after a couple of readings, am guessing that your MC is in her late teens, which would lend credibility to her vocabulary. Perhaps a more direct clue to her age would have been helpful.
You did a great job in communicating the transition of her perspective on the "mistress".
My favorite description was:
"Delicious shivers tickled my toes and danced up to my chin as I lay awake from sheer excitement."
02/06/08
Whoa! Glad the girl let the woman have it! Very good writing!
Laury
02/06/08
Creative and superb story!
Wow, that is good. A reminder that pride can destroy the beauty of anything we do or are. Beauty is on the inside indeed.
Bravo for Miss Randolph for saying what she did. Several good lesson going on here, and not just for flutes. I especially liked how you brought out the importance of practice and gifting being tied together. Then of course a bit of good luck never hurt any of us.
02/06/08
Go, girl!! (Yeah, I liked the ending.)
I loved the sharp transition in the middle when she meets Sonoea. The difference in tone was like a splash of ice cold water - attention getting and chilling.
It's so disappointing, isn't it, when your find your golden idol only glitters for the crowd? You showed this so well, and I'm glad you gave some backbone to your md.
02/06/08
Loved the voice. This is a really good illustration of the proverb. Nice job.
02/06/08
You just kept me reading and reading and enjoying and enjoying. I love stories about musicians. Great job. God bless.
02/06/08
You put us there and through every emotion. I could almost fel my own cheeks blush. Wonderful writing.
Yeah for Amisha! Great feeling and descriptions here, a very well deserved win!
02/08/08
Congratulations on 2nd place! :)
02/12/08
Congrats! I really enjoyed this.
:) Cat