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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of “All that Glitters is Not Gold” (without using the actual phrase or literal example). (01/24/08)

TITLE: The Leak
By Ruth Neilson


Wearily, Abigail sank into her small cot tucked in a corner of the attic of her brother’s house. It had been a long day. She had moved a family from one location to another—without drawing attention. She smiled to herself; it had been worth it though, especially after learning the original hiding spot had been raided earlier that evening.

She knew there was a leak in the Body. There was no other way that the cops could have known where the Upper Room was. The leaders were blessed last week. No one was there the day of the raid. Word had spread about a large assembly of plain-clothed cops a block away.

But, the question remained, who was it?

Abigail allowed her eyes to close as she pondered the question. The family should be safe in Robby’s attic. She nodded once to herself as she breathed a prayer, rolled towards the wall, and allowed her mind to settle for the evening.

Something woke her up and impulsively, Abigail grasped the offending noisemaker. With closed eyes, she felt for the phone. She cracked an eye open and frowned...why would Robby be calling her at this hour?

She grunted, “Yes?”

Robby’s voice flooded over the line. “We’ve got a big problem, Abigail.”

Abigail rubbed her hand over her forehead, trying to relieve the building headache. Robby was rambling now. “I thought...no…we all thought that Cloone was okay. He said the right things; even went to the right places...”

“Robby,” Abigail slowly began. “Please get to the point.” Her mind was spinning. Could it be that simple? Cloone seemed to be okay...

Robby’s voice went up an octave in his panic. “Abigail, you’re in danger! Shoot, we’re all in danger. We gotta get out now!”

Abigail almost flew across the room. “And go where? If Cloone is the leak, he knows all of the homes that we stay in.”

She could hear heavy footsteps outside of her brother’s house. A small shiver ran down her spine as Robby’s voice grew grave, “There is no ‘if Cloone is the leak,’ Abigail.” He paused and sucked in a deep breath. “They’re here.”

Those two words hung over the lines like a death sentence. There was a pause and the phone clattered to the floor. She listened in silence as heavy boots treaded across the floor, accompanied by shouted orders, and then heavy sobs mingled with the begging for mercy.

The footsteps outside of her brother’s house drew nearer. Someone pounded on the door and she could hear her brother shuffling around downstairs. She clung to the phone as her eyes frantically searched for a hiding spot in the dark attic...but she knew there wasn’t one.

Abigail knew that she needed to hear what happened at Robby’s house...but she needed to hide herself. She bit her lip and shivered as she made her decision. Purposefully, Abigail sat on the bed and continued to listen to both the voices downstairs and the voices over the phone.

She could hear her brother talking to an oddly familiar voice. Cloone. She blinked several times, tilted her head against the phone, and frowned. There was nothing but silence. They were gone.

Abigail pushed herself to her feet, slid on her slippers, before quietly walking downstairs. “Hello Cloone...rather late for a visit, ain’t it?” She asked, resting her hand on the banister.

The young man visibly jumped at the sound of her voice. “I didn’t think you’d be up this late, Abigail.”

Abigail shook her head. “It’s time to stop playing your games, Cloone. You had everyone fooled long enough, just do what you need to do and leave my brother alone. I’m tired of you using me to appear like you are a believer, ‘cause your act is up.”

She paused and took a small step towards Cloone, noting that he was alone. “I’ll even give you a deal: call off the cops and have them let those go at Robby’s house and you can have me. All you have to do is to tell me why you did this.”

Cloone sneered. “Why not? It was easy to make you simpletons believe that I was one of you. All I had to do was bow my head at the appropriate times and parrot what y’all said and did and well, let’s just say I was in.”

Abigail dipped her head and frowned. They were all fooled and now the Body was in danger.

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This article has been read 697 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Joanne Sher 02/01/08
I hope you expand on this - there is obviously much more to this story. I SO want to know more of the details. Great descriptions and tie-in to the topic.
Betty Castleberry02/01/08
Mysterious and attention getting. Well written, but I, too, want to know more.
Peter Stone02/03/08
I wonder if Cloone will accept her offer, or continue hunting down the rest of the Christians... Good story.
L.M. Lee02/05/08
Jan Ackerson 02/05/08
Yikes! Good end times story, with a different twist than most. I enjoyed this, and hope you'll expand it.
Kristen Hester02/05/08
Good story. I enjoyed the tension and the mystery. I, too, wanted more and to understand the background of the story. Great writing.
Hanne Moon 02/06/08
Ok, where's the rest of it? I want to know more! LOL Great job with the topic, really enjoyed this. You should expand this to a longer piece.
Gerald Shuler 02/06/08
After so many comments begging for more...

Will there be more?
Tim Pickl02/06/08
Wonderful writing! It reads like a chapter of an endtime novel.
Holly Westefeld02/06/08
Very thought provoking. Just who would I trust, even from my current church, should christianity become illegal in the US in my lifetime? Would I be able to detect the wolves in sheep's clothing?
Joy Faire Stewart02/06/08
Great job of drawing your reader into the story. Love the suspense and vivid emotions.
Sara Harricharan 02/06/08
This is intense, the suspense is definitely there. Clonne struck a chord with me, especially when he said that all he had to do was bow his head at the right time. wow. That is powerful. Great job with this! ^_^
Loren T. Lowery02/06/08
How sinister and mean. This had the atmosphere of "The Diary of Anne Frank" but with a modern twist. Great job of story telling and easily we can be deceived.
Debbie Wistrom02/06/08
Enjoyed the drama of this piece, very engaging. I agree that you have much more to say about this, keep it up.