The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/31/08
Great title:) What an unexpected ending!
Laury
02/01/08
Amazingly vivid descriptions and characterization. Love the title, too. Enjoyed this.
02/02/08
Excellent read. I was wondering if the ladies were more than they appeared to be. Also loved touch of them announcing his ride, and him ending up going to the Southside Revival Center anyway! Only comment was that he calls them young ladies - was this deliberate?
02/03/08
Twisty! This was a fun read with all of the different strands of the plot woven together nicely at the end.
This is such fun to read and unravel. The title is very fittng, too.
I didn't figure this one out at all until the very end. I love your old ladies. This was a hoot. Well done.
02/04/08
You got me! How wonderful and creative. I LOVED this ... wow ... what a fun read.

And what a twist. Ingenious.
Love this sort of story! Bad guy getting his just reward LOL
I guessed the minute she said “Excuse me a second, sir. I’m getting a text message.”
things were not as they seemed. Love the title too!
What a hoot. I loved this. The crooked smiles, the ladies not being who they arppeared to be--twice, and the twist at the end. This was a fun read. I enjoyed it. I especially liked the discription of Mr. Fraud in his basement. I could picture it all.
02/04/08
Enjoyed this twisty tale of crooked smiles. I have one on my face now. :)
Crookedly creative and fraudulently fun!! heehee! What a treat!
02/05/08
masterful! no idea where this was heading
02/05/08
AWESOME! I'm applauding madly! You totally took me in, and I loved every word.
Loved it. Masterful writing, kept me interested all the way to the twist (crooked) ending. Still chuckling! Great job!
02/05/08
I didn't see it coming! Very creative and fun read :)
02/06/08
I love it! This story kept my attention all the way through and the ending is perfect--LOL! This story could be developed as a skit for church...
02/06/08
Loved it! Crooked smiles and all! Great ending...
This is very entertaining with an excellent message. Love the ending, it's unexpected and enjoyed the humor of it.
02/06/08
I loved the duel deception and the MC's presumed intelligence at figuring out that they weren't who they said they were. Great writing. Very creative twist.
Excellent! Definitely among my favorites this week.
02/06/08
Wow, What a twist! And the common bond between the crooked smiles was brilliant.
02/06/08
ROFL! You certainly 'got' me with this piece. I wasn't expecting a sting setup. This was too funny, at first I thought Mr. Fraud was doing drugs instead of credit card fraud, the little 'old ladies' added a lovely-extremely funny-twist to the story. The line with the blackberry was my favorite! Nice writing! ^_^ This is a favorite of mine this week!
02/06/08
I love mysteries and I figured out the ladies' real intention before the end (but not very much before the end!). Great story and I really enjoyed the characters.
Should have figured ole Sigmund's scam from his name, (Fraud) but it didn't register until the "ladies" told him his ride had arrived. I liked how he sensed something was amiss with them, but chose to trust them anyway because he took them to be so much like himself. An intersting insight into his true character.
This is so creative and clever. The crooked smiles, the little old ladies, the name of their "church," and then the final zinger were just perfect.
02/06/08
Very very clever and unexpected ending!
02/06/08
What a fun read. The dialogue was perfect. A great illustration of the topic.
Great offbeat tale, loved the deception. Keep up the good words.
This was a hoot to read! I was taken in from the title to the last word! Great writing!
02/07/08
Your masterful wit is an inspiration.
02/07/08
Congratulations on your EC and your 1st place!!! :/ (that smile crooked enough for ya?)
02/07/08
You rock William! Congratulations my kind and wonderful friend!
02/07/08
Congratulations on your much deserved 1st place. This story is really great.
Nice double win!! Well deserved. I liked the ttle and the creative take on the topic!
Way to go, William. Twice!
Can't get any better than that.
02/07/08
My favorite spinner of yarns strikes again. Congratulations, friend! You create the most fascinating characters and you weave those yarns into an intricate tapestry worthy of a whodunit. I want an autographed copy of your book! :^)
02/07/08
Congratulations on your EC!!! Way to go!
02/07/08
Clever and well done, William. I loved the name play and the D.H. wig. Good job and congratulations!
Congratulation on your First Place EC win. Well deserved!
Woo Hoo and Yee Haw! Look who's sittin' at the top of the heap. Congratulations. You deserve it.
02/08/08
Congratulations on your EC first place! Great job!
02/08/08
***CONGRATULATIONS!*** Really awesome writing! ^_^
02/08/08
Wow! What a fun and entertaining entry! Good work and congrats on your EC!
02/09/08
Congratulations - a well deserved win. I love how Sigmond Fraud was caught out - very funny!
02/10/08
William - congratulations on your win! Your story is soooo funny. I wasn't sure at first where it was going, but I just cracked up when I got to the end.
06/24/08
William, I'm just getting back in the pace of things and read this story. It's a great one! Talk about a surprise twist and another surprise twist! You ARE a master, indeed. This was a worthy win and, I'll bet, came out a no doubt, overwhelming winner. You inspire me!