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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of “All that Glitters is Not Gold” (without using the actual phrase or literal example). (01/24/08)

TITLE: Power Red
By Kathy Bruins
01/27/08


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She looked at her image in the mirror. Jessica did a great job with my hair, she thought. Those highlights really make the color look great. Just a little more “pout” in the lips….perfect.

Getting up from her chair, Allison chose the Montevani outfit. She went behind the dressing wall. Admiring herself in the mirror, she tried out some dance moves to see how they would look in the outfit. Her lacy wrap skirt was flowing in her movements…so feminine. The red leather jacket showed everyone who was boss. She worked hard to get where she is, and she demanded respect.

“Allison, you have five minutes before show time. That outfit looks dynamite…you will definitely blow their minds.” Her assistant, Chandra, bounded out of the room as quickly as she entered it.

She depended so much on Chandra. She was with Allison from the very beginning when she was singing at bars and hotels. She is a good worker. Allison thought, “She respects me and I take good care of her. She would never let me down.”

Walking out on stage, Allison gave her best “I am so excited to be here” smile. The applause filled her ears and her soul. These people really love me, she thought. They think I’m special.

After the show, Allison signed a few autographs back stage and went to her dressing room. After pouring a sparkling water, there was a knock at the door. With no one else around, Allison grudgingly went to the door to see who it was. A small girl with flowers stood there.

Allison worked up a smile on her face. “Are those for me, Honey? They are beautiful. Thank you so much,” and took the flowers and slammed the door. She threw the flowers in the trash bin, and continued sipping on her water.

Chandra came into the dressing room. Looking at the flowers in the trash, she turned to Allison. “You know, Allison, we’ve been together for a long time. I remember the fun we used to have as we would pretend to be big stars and perform in front of people. You have been able to do that,” she sat down, “…but you have changed in another way, too.”

“What do you mean?” Allison thought another of Chandra’s sermons was coming.

“You know I love the Lord, and I thought you did, too. But lately, I’ve been seeing another side of you that doesn’t reflect that…in fact, I’ve seen a darker side in you.”

“Chandra, come on…I’m tired…I’m giving the people what they want…what do you want from me?” She slammed her glass down and stood up. “Haven’t I done everything for you? Haven’t I always brought you along my whole career? It’s been great, hasn’t it?”

Chandra sighed. “There have been many good times, this is true. But your focus has turned inward. All you care about is you. You have no desire to know God and what He wants you to do. You have no desire to love others as you want to be loved. You know this stardom you have right now may not last forever. Isn’t it better to think on things that have eternal value?”

“Who has time for that? Besides, I did all the work in getting myself where I am right now. I didn’t need God for that…I needed determination and hard work…and it has paid off. As far as people go, I do my best to put on the best show I can for them…give them their money’s worth. How can you say I don’t care about them?”

“You know that little girl who brought you the flowers?”

“Yeah, what about her?”

“That’s my niece, Nichole. She has always looked up to you and thinks you are the best person in the world. She wants to grow up to be just like you.”

Allison smiled at the thought. “So what’s wrong with that? I think that’s great. I’m sure there are many others who want to be just like me.” She turned away and looked at her reflection in the mirror.

Chandra got up from her chair, and walked to the door. Opening it, she paused and turned, “Unfortunately, she won’t have the chance to grow up and be like you. The doctors have only given her a few months. I’ll be staying with my sister to help care for her. I won’t be back.” She shut the door.

Allison looked at her reflection in the mirror….


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This article has been read 574 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Joanne Sher 02/01/08
What a tragic tale - you did an excellent job on characterization, especially on the MC.

Some of the dialog felt a bit stilted.

That last line is VERY good.
Laury Hubrich 02/06/08
Wow! This was a well-written story. Good twist at the end. Very thought-provoking:)
Laury