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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of “Don’t Try to Walk before You Can Crawl” (without using the actual phrase or literal example). (01/17/08)

TITLE: Dream Chasing
By Benjamin Graber
01/24/08


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I knew a boy who had a dream
To be the bigwig in D. C.;
His father wanted to support him
In what Dave’s heart desired to be,
So he gave his son a hundred bucks
To make and sell some lemonade,
Or buy some parts to fix up bikes
And start upon a simple trade…

But Dave just could not understand
How just a hundred bucks would do—
He heard that the campaigns cost millions;
How this sum helped, he had no clue!
And so he used it for an X-Box
Since he was saving up for one,
And wasted time away at games
And killed ambition having fun…

I knew his brother, who had dreamed
To change the country with his pen
His father was a little wary,
But gave a hundred bucks again,
He wanted Drew to use it wisely,
To make and sell some lemonade,
Or buy some parts to fix up bikes
And start upon a simple trade…

Unlike his brother, Drew bought lemons
And bought some wood to make a stand,
He started business in the heat
And soon his drinks were in high demand;
He soon expanded, selling more,
And with his profit set aside
He bought a new computer
To start the next step on his climb…

I know not what their futures hold,
But I am sure which one is bright:
The one who spent his talent wisely,
And kept the future in his sight…


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Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 01/25/08
Good example, with the contrasts of the two brothers and their wise and patient dad.

Most of your lines have 8 syllables, so that when occasionally you have a 9- or 10- syllable line, it causes a bit of a "trip" in the rhythm.

I enjoyed this story poem!

Gerald Shuler 01/25/08
I love to read good rhyming poetry. This has a great title and a really wonderful premise. I agree with Jan, though. The extra occational syllables didn't help the flow.

It is still a good piece of writing.
Hanne Moon 01/26/08
Very well written. A few of the lines were awkward, but other than that you did a great job!