The Official Writing Challenge
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Very thought provoking. It's so sad that many girls think they have to be skinny. This is well written.
01/27/08
I enjoyed the writing and the idea of the story.
Red ink: I guess it just didn't grab me because it didn't seem to go anywhere--there was no dramatic thing happening in it that built up to a climax and then got resolved.
01/27/08
Extremely compelling reading--as one who works with teens, I can say that you got the voice exactly right.

I'm unclear of the tie-in to the topic.

I like your title, and your very patient mother.
01/27/08
An important message for girls to hear!! The internal dialog is what makes this piece. Good job. :-)
01/27/08
My favorite thing about this entry is the dialogue. It's wonderful-very natural and just the way real people speak. My only squiggle line of red ink would be the tie in to the topic. I see a bit of it there, but not as clearly as you'd want me to, I think! You have an awesome ability to write conversation, girl!
01/27/08
I really liked this story and the message. It has some very good components. My only red ink comment would be that the piece didn't flow very well, a few speedbumps here and there to slow me down. But, I did read the entire story willingly ( meaning it kept my interest). Super effort. God bless.
This is a very important message. Good job. I liked the inner dialogue.
I just noticed your request for red ink. I think there were two misspellings: dying and skinnier in the 3rd to last paragraph.

It seems she's upset with her mom or dad about their divorce. I would like to know a little more about this. (I know, I know...only 750 words makes it hard.)

I agree it seems a little off topic.

And I agree with all the things I said in my first comment, also. Nice story. Great inner dialogue. Important topic. You go, girl. God bless!
01/28/08
An’ I love you too much to watch ya drown.”

Everyone needs a friend like Robin, especially someone who has such a serious problem. It will be exciting to see how God will use this story.
This is an important theme for young girls, and you've touched on some major related issues. I appreciate your obvious heart for teens. I, too, believe God will use this story.
01/28/08
This is an extremely relevant topic for teenagers -- and you wrote it very well. The flow of the story is very realistic.

I don't quite get the tie-in with the topic.
01/28/08
This was very good, Cat. While I'm not quite sure how it ties in with the topic, it was a good piece. Good show of the inner demons that girls with eating disorders have.
I liked the way you handled the dialogue - very realistic, as was the thought processes of the MC.

What a great friend she has in Robin - AND in her mother too if only she realised it.

Couldn't really see the tie-in with the topic, but nevertheless, well written.

But did you HAVE to make the meal meatloaf and mashed potatoes? That is my all time favourite comfort food!!
I liked the way you handled the dialogue - very realistic, as was the thought processes of the MC.

What a great friend she has in Robin - AND in her mother too if only she realised it.

Couldn't really see the tie-in with the topic, but nevertheless, well written.

But did you HAVE to make the meal meatloaf and mashed potatoes? That is my all time favourite comfort food!!
Oops, sorry, seemed to have hit the submit button twice
An important message and, if I'm not mistaken, I think I caught part of the root of your MC's problem - that her father was absent. It goes to the importance of family and how its dynamics affect each of us in so many different ways.
The wrting shows a caring, thoughtful heart as always.

01/30/08
I so could have been right in the scene watching this story play out. Great writing.
01/30/08
I love Robin. I bet she was able to get her friend to come around and get some help. This is so sad to see-but I'm glad for the note of hope at the end! ^_^