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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of ďDonít Try to Walk before You Can CrawlĒ (without using the actual phrase or literal example). (01/17/08)

TITLE: Writers' Forum; Translation 101
By Sally Hanan


Hi everyone! I'm really excited to be here!
Because it means that you will get to read my writing.

My teacher said that I was really good.
Iím actually brilliant, and youíll soon see my amazing talent.

I want to have my writing speak a message to peopleís hearts.
I want them to be blown away by my depth of knowledge.

I feel that God has sent me to you.
So that you can appreciate my brilliance and stoke me with millions of kudos.

My family and friends have said that they really like my work.
Thatís proof that Iím as brilliant as I think I am.

I was the best in my English writing class at school.
Iíll slam you with my brilliance.

Iíve sent a query to Doubleday about my first novel.
Iím expecting them to send me a 5 digit offer for the rights.

I hope that I can participate in what goes on here.
I am so brilliant that everything you need to know you can watch and learn from me.

Iíve written a lot of poetry that I am hoping to publish.
But youíll never see it here; itís so brilliant Iím afraid you might steal it and publish it yourself and make millions.

My writing is so unique, you have seen nothing like it anywhere.
And thereís a reason whyÖ.

Iíve never taken any kind of writing class or online courses because I feel that I would be taught too many formalities and it would stilt my flair.
I have no idea how to build up a plot to a climax and I donít even know what denouement means; and what are syllables?

My first article is posted, but I havenít had any comments so far. Here is the link.
Itís been up there for ten days and no one has commented on my brilliance yetóis there no appreciation for talent around here?

Should I really go into beginnersí level?
Iím so much better than that.

Exactly what are the criteria for judging writing?
My article wasnít placed among the weekly favorites and it should have been in the top ten, or at least in the top 40.

Wow, those winners had some good stuff.
Maybe Iím not the only brilliant writer.

Exactly how does one go about getting placed?
Iím starting to wonder if perhaps Iím not so brilliant after all.

Iíve tried out some new things, would you mind commenting?
I am beginning to admit that the rest of you have some talent too, and Iím actually using some of your techniques...

Wow; thank you everyone!
Lights going off in brain.

Please red ink me.
I am one of many among my writing peers. I am slowly getting better at my craft, and as long as I stay humble and am willing to learn, I may be really brilliant some day.

Afterthought: Hmm, and maybe I should trash those 3,298 copies of self-published (but unedited) books.

The writer vehemently denies any personal experience with aforementioned thoughts.

The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
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This article has been read 1437 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Karen Wilber01/24/08
I like how you developed the character using expressed words and actual thoughts.
(This is so creative. How come I didn't come up with something this creative.)
Love the dry, smart humor.
(Better go look up "denouement ". The plot's supposed to build to a climax?)
(I hope this person doesn't think I'm lame.)
Lynda Schultz 01/24/08
I'm not going to say that this was brilliant, because I don't want it to go to your head and cause you to return to your former state of insufferableness. (But it is very good!)
Jan Ackerson 01/25/08
One of the funniest things I've ever read, here on FW, or anywhere! Bravo, bravo, bravo!
Sharlyn Guthrie01/26/08
Very cute! Nice job of building your plot to a climax. :-)
Emily Gibson01/26/08
Oh, I think you've connected with more than a few of us here!
Brilliantly done (and I think you should enjoy the compliments)!
Catrina Bradley 01/27/08
Oh, this is just perfect! Too funny. Love the MC's slow realization.
Dee Yoder 01/27/08
Gee, it's like you've been around a lot of writers or something. How'd you know all this? Love the progression from false humility to real humility and knowledge.
william price01/27/08
Yes the progression of your MC was very well done. I was a lil confused at first, but quickly caught on (old age:))
Very entertaining. God bless.
Kristen Hester01/28/08
LOL. This was creative, cute, and fun. Nicely done.
LauraLee Shaw01/28/08
I was cracking up while reading this. My kids were gathered around my laptop trying to see what was so funny. They think I'm crazy now. I love, love, love the creativity of this. I donít even know what denouement means; Is that really a word?
Betty Castleberry01/28/08
Snicker. Giggle. Guffaw! This is so true it hurts. Well done.
Hanne Moon 01/28/08
"The writer vehemently denies any personal experience with aforementioned thoughts." ROFL This was incredible! Ummmm, can kinda relate to this! Seriously, good job!
Sheri Gordon01/28/08
This is very, very funny. You couldn't possibly be talking about all of us, could you? You really nailed this proverb. Excellent.
Patty Wysong01/28/08
Loved it! Perfect example for this topic, too. :-) Now, off to grab my dictionary. LoL. (sad, but true.) :-)
Glynis Becker01/28/08
Bravo! This one is so perfectly telling. I loved it!
Lyn Churchyard01/29/08
LOL what a crack-up! I loved the title.

Don't know about anyone else, but there were a few "Ouch! touche" spots. :)

Beth LaBuff 01/29/08
Can we make this a sticky? :) Love it!
Michelle Roufley01/29/08
Wow this is so neat! Lord sometimes it is hard to be humble, and harder to be humbled.
Shari Armstrong 01/29/08
LOVE it (where's the little guy rofl smilie when you need him!) This is so great!
Sara Harricharan 01/29/08
ROFL! Okay, I agree with the sticky. This is really, really good...did you borrow any words when I was talking in my sleep?!
Pat Guy 01/29/08
Well ... all I've got to say is ... "IT TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE!" and I haven't a clue what you're trying to say in this peice. PM me sometime if you'd like some help. (chuckle, chuckle, snort, snort)
Julie Ruspoli01/29/08
This article is so different and fun to read. Great style and message. Right on topic. Keep writing for Him!
James Dixon01/30/08
This entry was set out like liturgy- where the congregation says the words in bold together. I could just imagine the Faithwriters reciting it in unison. Me included.
Angela M. Baker-Bridge01/30/08
You've got a winner here, and each comment bares witness. Thanks for sharing this thought provoking, fun, read.
Angela M. Baker-Bridge01/30/08
Note for future readers:

Denouement (French) n 1: the outcome of a complex sequence of events 2: the final resolution of the main complication of a literary or dramatic work.

Temple Miller01/30/08
Perfect application of the topic and so very funny. Brilliant, actually.
Verna Cole Mitchell 01/30/08
Great piece. I wrote with the same idea--but not as brilliantly.
Beckie Stewart01/30/08
Well I had not read this yet. It was a unique way of writing and I enjoyed it. I like how you used bold with this too. Very clever. Could definitely learn from you!
LaNaye Perkins01/30/08
This is so unique and really funny. Bravo my friend!
Seema Bagai 05/16/09
Hilarious. Sally, I really enjoyed this piece. It's even funnier because I just came home from a local writers' conference where I met several people who could have written the beginning of this piece. :-)
Patricia Herchenroether05/22/09
This is great! Thanks for posting the link. I guess I need to do some archive digging.