Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of “A Bird in the Hand is Worth Two in the Bush” (without using the actual phrase or literal example). (01/10/08)

TITLE: Thorvald's Treasure
By Ann Grover
01/17/08


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

The woman in the poster smiled over a basket filled with ripe tomatoes, rosy apples, tasseled corn. Behind her, a field of grain undulated beneath a benevolent sun.

Erling pointed to the words under the picture, fritt land, and slapped Peder on the back. “Look! Free land!”

“And see here,” exclaimed Peder, “there’s an address for getting a job working on the railway. They’re offering free passage.”

Thorvald saw the mounting fervour on both of the younger boys’ faces as they read the poster and advertisement again. “A long way to Canada, brothers.”

“Ah, but, Thorvald, there’s nothing for us here.”

It was true. The country was in recession and jobs were scarce. Crops had failed and bellies were empty. And how could Father divide the small holding between the three older boys, much less the smaller ones coming along behind.

Turning from the window with its inviting poster, Thorvald shouldered the sack of purchases and strode away, and the excited brothers ran after, heads together.

“Tell me more,” directed Father, stabbing a chunk of stringy mutton as the family sat around the supper table later. “Where is this free land?”

“Canada. First, we will work for the Canadian Pacific Railway,” Peder enunciated the name carefully in English, “until we are old enough to buy a homestead.”

“There is a meeting for anyone who is interested, Father, and a place to sign up. And free passage to Canada.”

Mother mashed vegetables and fed the baby, slowly eating her own thin stew, taking small bites of dark bread, and listening to the boys, saying not a word.

“All three of you wish this?” Father inquired. “A new life. One hundred sixty acres?”

Thorvald, Peder, and Erling looked at each other, passion and hope emanating from them like a vaporous force, the desire for adventure contagious and luminous. They grinned.

“Well.” Father went to the wood stove. The coals clinked together as he stirred, then tossed in another chunk of wood, flames flaring, sparks snapping. “Then you must go.”

The boys went to the recruitment meeting and signed up for employment and the journey, found out the departure date. There was naught else to do but wait. They helped with the early spring lambing, mended fences, and cleaned outbuildings.

Yet, as a blush of green tinted the hills, Thorvald felt his vision wane. He watched his father trudge across the farmyard, shoulders stooped. Down by the house, snowy linens sailed in the spring breeze, freshly rinsed and hung by his mother’s hands, the same hands that could deftly weave a flaxen braid, knead bread, or comfort a baby.

Hei, Thorvald! Are you dreaming?” Peder and Erling pushed a handcart full of firewood down the path from the forest. Thorvald inhaled the rich, resinous fragrance and looked up the slope to the evergreen trees blanketing the hillside.

“Give a hand, brother,” begged Peder, feigning deep weariness, yet sweat did trickle from his temples and rosy cheeks. Laughing, Thorvald pushed him out of the way, and he took a handle of the cart. They added the wood to the stack the boys had already done that day.

“That’ll dry perfectly. Hard to believe we’ll be long gone by then,” observed Erling.

Again, Thorvald felt a prickle of doubt and misgiving. That night and following nights, the suppertime chatter revolved around the pending departure and plans, but Thorvald grew less eager to join in the conversation. He looked at each shining, rapt face around the table, from the baby to his father’s weathered countenance. How could he dream of leaving?

The work on the railroad would be grueling, but he knew from his calloused hands he didn’t fear hard work. His young back was already broad and muscled, accustomed to difficult labour.

And what of the stories of failure he’d heard, only a few, but misfortunes, all the same. Men who’d returned, broken in body and spirit, landless, poor, and shamed. Thorvald prayed he was making the right decision.

“I am staying,” he finally announced to his startled family. He said nothing of Father’s rounded shoulders or the bright tablecloths that tore at his heart. He didn’t mention how precious each fair head had become, but he did touch a braid, tousle a lock.

In April, it was Peder and Erling who waved, then walked into the mist on their way to Kristiania and the waiting ship.

Thorvald had already found his fortune.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 791 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Sally Hanan01/17/08
Very nicely done with a lot of showing that put me at the table with them. Loved it.
Dee Yoder 01/17/08
This is an excellent story. I love the characters and the descriptions of the farm life. Very interesting, too, to know more about the way North America enticed immigrants to come and homestead. I knew it was done in the U.S., but didn't know it was also done in Canada.
Gregory Kane01/18/08
Such talented descriptive writing is a sheer pleasure to read. Bless you.
James Clem 01/18/08
Very enjoyable. Excellent descriptions. Great job!
Verna Cole Mitchell 01/19/08
Outstanding writing as we follow the skillful unfolding of the story.
Debbie Roome 01/20/08
A story with a lot of depth and well written.
Joanne Sher 01/20/08
Last line is PERFECT. Wonderful writing (and I'm guessing I know whose it is). You put me right in the middle with them.
Peter Stone01/22/08
I love the contrast between the one who stayed, and the two who went, showing both aspects of the topic at once.
LauraLee Shaw01/22/08
This is excellent writing and a vivid picture of the topic's message. I love this line: Again, Thorvald felt a prickle of doubt and misgiving. I'm thankful he listened to it in the end.
Holly Westefeld01/22/08
A wise young man indeed. Nicely done.
Karen Wilber 01/22/08
I like how you made this a difficult choice and that we don't know if the brothers were successful or not. Thorvald recognized the "bird in hand", but you didn't preach against going to Canada. Complex - and well written.
Jan Ackerson 01/22/08
Love the sense of time and place evoked here, and the precious details that elevate your writing far above the crowd. Lovely!
Sara Harricharan 01/23/08
I'm glad he found the right treasure and didn't have to give up everything and return with nothing to what was really treasure after all. I like the you-are-there sort of atmosphere, very good! ^_^
Loren T. Lowery01/23/08
Very well written and thought provoking piece. A decision I know many of our ancestors had to make at one time or another. The gift of discernment is indeed a blessing.
Pam Carlson-Hetland01/23/08
I was easily transported to another time with such excellent writing. The choice to value what was already at hand vs. the enticement of leaving for the unknown is clearly demonstrated here. Absolutely wonderful writing. Great job.
Tim George01/24/08
"Thorvald had already found his fortune."

What a fantastic closing line. Many of my relatives came to America during the Irish potato famine. This helped me picture how hard that decision to stay or leave must have been.
Sara Harricharan 01/24/08
***Congrats!***
LauraLee Shaw01/24/08
Congratulations! Well-deserved for this treasure piece.
Sheri Gordon01/24/08
Congratulations on your EC. This is a very heart-warming piece -- and a wonderful example of the topic. Great job.