The Official Writing Challenge
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This is so very good, everything about it is just excellent. I loved the touches of humor. There's just enough description and detail to really get a feel for the characters and the situation. Fits perfectly with the topic. The title is eye catching and nicely ties in with the ending. Great job.
01/17/08
I just kept guessing and guessing what was going to happen next and I didn't expect the ending. Ouch! Very nicely paced. You made me empathize with the MC getting caught up in it all. A real grabber of a title.
01/17/08
Oh man, this is so good. The dialogue and the characters really spoke to me. But what REALLY got to me was envy: I want that candy bar in the bottom of her purse! (Can you tell I'm not allowed to have sweets anymore?) Just kidding...let me wipe my mouth...now. This is chock full of great writing and I really like the way you describe the MC's fascination with the Money Moms. Right on topic.
01/18/08
This is brilliant. And realistic. And just convicting as all get out. I have truly had some similar experiences with some name-dropping, yuppie friends. I always scratch my head at the end and wonder, "What just happened? What was I thinking? I don't even really like them?" One of my favs....
01/18/08
I liked the way you described the constant unease felt by your MC couple with her yearning to be accepted. What I couldn’t figure was why the Money Moms were bothered with her. You certainly brought the proverb to life.
This is an outstanding story to illustrate the proverb. You made your character very real. I liked the touches of humor, too.
01/19/08
What a touching story, and perfect for the topic. I like the way you chose an ordinary daily event to examine the topic rather than something life shattered.
01/19/08
Great illustration of the proverb, and a great title. Definitely not an angle I'd considered. Very good.
01/20/08
This kept me guessing all the way. Loved it.
01/21/08
Vanity...vanity...all is vanity!
Well written. Although, I was expecting a slightly different ending...like a weird,wild hair-do!
01/21/08
Oh ouch. That had to hurt when it came back to her! I liked the way you made your MC real, especially with the touches like the Target shirt, and Dirty Dodge Caravan. ^_^ Great stuff!
01/22/08
Thanks for the laugh. You are always right on target when you describe how you feel but it applies to practically everyone. I too wanted her to have a really revolting hairstyle, or a style that looked exactly the same as it had looked when she had gone in, but then again, you wouldn't have been able to make your point, now would you :D
Your contrasts are vivid. This is a great reminder that we never know what humans are watching, and should always remember that God is.
01/22/08
Love your "Yellow Pages" title--very creative. You're definitely a master of chick lit/mom lit.
Oh my. It's so easy to be influenced by others, isn't it? Loved the writing, loved the message. Well done.
A really good example of this week's topic and it was written with a very believable scenario. I thought the dialogue and interaction of the characters was top-notch as well
01/23/08
Great example of the topic--right down to the unhappy ending, unfortunately. Great dialog and characterizatoins. :-)
01/23/08
Excellently written, perfect title-- I can almost hear the 'legally blonde' type inflections in the dialogue.
01/23/08
Another great story. You have these harried mom stories nailed. Your writing is so entertaining, and there is always a great lesson. Usually an 'ouch' lesson. And the dialogue cracks me up. Great job with the topic.
01/24/08
Your title is perfect (and creative). Great story and a perfect illustration of the topic.