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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of “A Bird in the Hand is Worth Two in the Bush” (without using the actual phrase or literal example). (01/10/08)

TITLE: The Carrot "Bliss"
By Benjamin Graber
01/14/08


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I see the tasty carrot “Bliss”,
It hangs just barely out of reach,
Temptations calls me with a hiss,
But what will come if walls are breached?

Dear Wisdom whispers in my ear,
“Don’t jump – you just will bruise your rear,
And bump your head in shame, I fear;
You will not reach what you hold dear…”

But in my eyes, that carrot, “Bliss”,
Drops scents which stir up more desires,
Which tell me to jump, even if I miss
I could not fall into a fire…

But Wisdom whispers once again,
“Don't pluck the fruit – it’s not yet ripe,
Or you’ll regret what could have been
Had you the patience not to gripe…”

What shall I do – jump or wait?
True love will duel it out with lust,
I feel I’m gambling with my fate
And if I lose, my heart will bust…

But in the war, it’s love that wins,
And I will wait for Father’s plans:
They’re far more wonderful than sin,
And greater than all my demands…


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Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 01/18/08
Excellent--and I love the 2nd line of the 2nd stanza.
Sara Harricharan 01/18/08
This is good! I like the flow and style, especially the use of the word "Bliss" a feeling we all can relate to. Great job! ^_^
Beth LaBuff 03/26/08
I'm catching up on some reading and arrived here from Jan's Master Class (assonance). I must say I'm very impressed with the words you used and your word flow. Your title is perfect and this poem is perfect for the topic "bird in the hand". I love the carrot/temptation metaphor. The wisdom you've shown in this is so good ("And I will wait for Father’s plans...") I'm glad I read this beautifully written poem.