The Official Writing Challenge
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01/10/08
Hmmm. There is a lot of emotion packed into here. I like the description of the mental battle going on. Very creative. The end was a little choppy though. It added to the pace, but I was kind of hoping for a little more. I guess I wanted to see why exactly she'd changed her mind, etc. Good job though! ^_^
I love the concept and the writing and the battle that is ultimately won by a tiny step of obedience!!!!

Good work!

LA Evans
Good on her for stepping away. Good illustration of the saying. So true what many don't realize at the time--an affair causes so much more pain later than the temporary pleasure is worth.
This story is compelling in its description of temptation and of making the right step away from it. This is the kind of outstanding writing that makes you think and then keep on thinking when you finish reading.
01/10/08
Wow. Interesting take on the topic -- but it really works. Very good writing and story. I'm so glad to see she made the right choice.
01/10/08
This was an unexpected take on the topic - but it really fit. Good thinking. I also wanted to know what it was about that phone call that resurrected the warriors. You have so many good emotion descriptions it left me curious to know more about the MC.
01/10/08
Whoa! Powerful descriptions and marvelous "insider" information that made me feel with the MC. Very good.
01/10/08
Wow! This is very powerful, raw emotion... I hope and pray I never have to go through this battle. This was so real and a good wake up call to be on guard. Thanks for sharing!
Laury
01/11/08
Love the title! And the story delivered! Fantastic!!
01/12/08
Very powerful and amazingly visual. This felt so real, so stark.
I was pleasantly surprised by the resolution to this situation. You described temptation, struggles with conscience, and resistance so vividly throughout this excellent story.
01/12/08
I really like this - the temptation, the inner turmoil, the unseen spiritual battle, and finally the right decision tho it breaks her heart. Beautiful writing.
01/13/08
Terrific - good pace - good sentence length with descriptive verbs! Good writing all around:)
I really like the way this piece was written and delivered. Great emotive writing! Good message, too.
VERY POWERFUL! Excellent writing. I'm so glad that MC did the right thing. Bravo!
01/14/08
Almost too painful to read, but in a good way--this is so very, very, well done. Every detail exactly right, and this is a model of "show, don't tell."
01/14/08
I love the emotion this piece evoked. It is so easy to become complacent and bored with our lives and those in it. I'm so glad your MC walked away. Great job!
01/14/08
Wow. Wow! Great everything: imagery, sensory descriptions, dialogue, pace, and last but not least, a good decision. Great message!
In the midst of Hollywood's endless parade of the 'other' ending, this stands out as a gem that deserves to be read and reread. The 'other' ending is loved by the world's crowd, but the reality is that this ending is the key to real passion and happiness. Great job on this, Sally!!
01/15/08
There is only one word for this - WOW. And a few more ... awesome work! I wanted to keep reading! It seemed to end so quickly yet it ended just right.

Wow ...
01/15/08
Good descriptions without telling too much! It's enough to feel the conflict and the victory.
01/16/08
I love it. The urge to yell, "Don't do it", while I read was so strong. Great message that so many can relate to and use. Your descriptions of her feelings was perfect.
01/16/08
Wonderful illustration of the topic. Your lesson is a great reminder to all. You've written this very well.
01/16/08
I read this first thing in the week but didn't have a chance to comment on the great work. Now that I know who wrote it I understand why it is soooo good! Loved the tension and the resolution. Great job!
01/17/08
A well deserved win! The tension was excellent. o liked the short choppy sentence structure.
01/17/08
Congratulations on your 1st place. This is very powerful, and very well written.
01/17/08
Congratulations, Sally!!
Wow, I totally understand the reason your were chosen for first place. Congratulations, this is excellent and certainly showed it all, but thankful for the right choice being made when so often it is not.
01/17/08
Congratulations! This illustrated the proverb so well - I'm glad she chose the right path in the end.
Can't add to the other comments, but want to say that I was very intrigued by the title, so was not disappointed with the story. Great job! So daring!
Congratulations on winning, and writing a piece that definitely will find a home in broader circulation.
01/17/08
CONGRATS to a well deserved WIN.... gutsy, real, inspiring, and so true to life...needs to be read around the world! :)
01/17/08
Excellent - congrats on your win!

How very real this story. I've cried many hours with a friend in this same boat who has never had the courage to walk away.
01/17/08
Congratulations, Sally! A great story; full of emotion and conflict.
01/18/08
I guess your title says it all. I love the way you describe the seduction using almost entirely non-visual cues. Makes for a story super-charged with emotion. Many congratulations
I really enjoyed this article. Well done.
Nice. I got married two days before I turned twenty, by the way. Makes it easy to grasp the inner struggle.
That was excellent, Sally! Congratulations. Your opening was particularly strong with all the sensory information. At first I thought I was reading about a woman with her husband, but then to realize it was a temptation and see the contrast between them made it even more powerful. The proactive measure of leaving her department to protect her marriage perfectly illustrated the quote. Great job!
06/24/08
Sally, I only just read this, but it is fantastic. This is exactly what you have to do in the workplace when temptation opens a crack in the window: you must flee out the door, no matter what. She lost some income but saved her soul. Thank you for putting these thoughts into a word picture! It needs to be said...and read before that time ever comes in a person's life.