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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of “A Stitch in Time Saves Nine” (without using the actual phrase or literal example). (01/03/08)

TITLE: The Way of the Sluggard
By Catrina Bradley
01/10/08


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Sonja peered at the time through sleep-bleared eyes. I’ll get up soon. One more snooze won’t hurt. She tapped the button on the alarm clock, cutting off the DJ in mid-sentence, and snuggled back under the covers. She was fast asleep within seconds.


“...6:52, and we’re looking at a rainy morning, folks.” Sonja jolted at the sudden, loud intrusion into her sleep. Great. Rain. Father, I’m grateful for the rain. I know we need it, but why during rush hour? Couldn’t you wait till everyone’s at work?

“Better get an early start; traffic will be a bear on the connector. Now, in honor of the weather, here’s the latest release from MercyMe - “Jesus Bring the Rain.”

I’ll just listen to this song, then get up.

“That was MercyMe with our theme song for this wet morning.” Sonja turned her head toward the clock. Man, I slept through one of my favorite songs! Hmm...if I don’t wash my hair, I can hit the snooze one more time. Rolling onto her tummy, she purred, and fell back asleep.

“...but our son, of course, wouldn’t be caught dead in that shirt. It came from SuperMart, and no one who is cool wears clothes from...” Sonja smacked the snooze button without even glancing at the clock. I can skip my Bible reading and devotion this morning and sleep just a bit longer. I’ll still almost be on time. Soon she was dozing.



“Father, I’m sorry that I didn’t make time for You this morning. Forgive me for my laziness.” Sonja prayed as she dodged slower cars, weaving in and out of lanes. “Please help me make it to work on time.” “You IDIOT! Move faster! Go, go!”

She eyed the HOV lane. Drivers with passengers were speeding by the bumper-to-bumper single drivers. “Cheater!” she shouted at a pick-up that obviously didn’t have two or more people in the cab. No matter that he couldn’t hear her, and probably didn’t care about her opinion anyway. Should I? Do I dare hop over into the left lane and take a chance? If there is a cop patrolling the HOV lane, that guy in the truck will get pulled over and I’ll be safe. She made a hasty decision, turned on her left signal, and jerked into the first gap and gunned the engine. Ah, this is more like it. I should be right on time, now.



“Do you know why I pulled you over this morning?” Rain dripped off the cop’s hat cover as he bent over to speak to Sonja.

“Yes, officer, I was in the HOV lane illegally.” She wiped a wayward raindrop out of her eye.

“So you know you have to have two or more people in your car to use this lane. Is there a reason you decided to use it anyway?”

Lies and excuses flashed through Sonja’s mind. I need to use the bathroom real bad...My friend is at the hospital and she’s dying...I was chasing a carjacker..., but she chose to tell the truth instead. “I was late for work.”

“I’m going to have to cite you. You should really get an earlier start when it’s raining, you know.”

Yah, I know.



Proverbs 15:19 The way of the sluggard is blocked with thorns,
but the path of the upright is a highway.
(NIV)


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This article has been read 1071 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Sara Harricharan 01/10/08
Ooooh. I didn't see the ticket coming. I thought she was going to crash. Yikes! What a lousy start to the morning...LOL...sounds like me on a rainy day!
James Clem 01/10/08
Excellent! Internal dialogue is so real and genuine -- so um, when did this actually happen? Come on... we all want to know.
Verna Cole Mitchell 01/10/08
I was intrigued with how you interspersed her prayer with her angry remarks. We are all so human, aren't we? It's a wonder and a marvel how God loves us so. Good story.
Sheri Gordon01/10/08
I like this because it's so real. Don't we all hit the snooze button, and then pay for it later? Nice job with the topic.
LaNaye Perkins01/10/08
This was written so well, I felt like I was riding along with her. Of course, I wasn't, because if I had been she wouldn't have been pulled over for driving in the HOV lane illegally! lol Great writing!
Joanne Sher 01/11/08
Very real - great interior monologue. Enjoyed the read. Title is perfect :) Bet this is based on a real event ;)
Sharlyn Guthrie01/12/08
I wish I could say I can't identify. We night owls find mornings, especially dreary ones, hard to deal with. I, too, was impressed with the inner dialogue throughout.
Marita Thelander 01/14/08
The snooze alarm thing sounded like my daughter when she was in college! I liked the inner dialog. Well done.
jodie banner01/14/08
Oh how I miss the days when I could sleep past 5:00am. My kids get up way before the alarm goes off and yet I am still late every day. I bet your MC could just hear those stitches ripping as the day wore on.
Loren T. Lowery01/14/08
Seems to me along with that prayer of forgiveness, she should have asked for a little wisdom to boot. That guy in the truck could have been a cop in disguise you know! : )
Besides, isn't it odd that we chose not to do something because we might get caugth rather than simply because it's the right thing to do?

This was a fun read and an example most of us can relate to.
Hanne Moon 01/14/08
Well I can relate to this! My alarm clock is on the dresser across the room where I HAVE to get up! ;D And the part where she's praying and chewing out other drivers - it's like looking in a mirror! Great story!
Temple Miller01/14/08
I loved this way-too-true story. If I got all the tickets I deserve...

Well, anyway, I loved the internal dialogue mixing with the radio. And I really liked all the descriptions worked effortlessly through the story. I could picture exactly what was happening. Very enjoyable!
Jan Ackerson 01/14/08
Excellent job with Sonja's internal monologue, and with this well-written story.
Joy Faire Stewart01/14/08
Excellent and unique writing on topic, very realistic.
Linda Watson Owen01/14/08
You brought this all too familiar experience into full blown reality on a page! LOL! Great job!
LauraLee Shaw01/15/08
You took a common story and wrote it so excellently. I admire the way you weaved the radio in and out so realistically, and the words you chose to do so. Excellent!
Yvonne Blake 01/15/08
TSK! TSK! to the MC.
This one reminded me of the verse "Be sure your sins will find you out." (perfect for this topic)
Well done for someone who almost didn't enter!
Tim Manzer 01/15/08
Great job! I have two teens, the story felt like my life.
Dee Yoder 01/15/08
Oh! I can so relate to this MC. I remember hitting my snooze button one too many times. Great staging for both parts of your story. I could feel the tiredness while she was still in bed, and then the frustration and tension while she was on the highway. Love the verse at the end, too!
Patty Wysong01/15/08
I loved the internal dialog and how the radio announcer kept cutting in. The passage of time was very clear and easy to follow and the overall flow and feel was great. Realistic and enjoyable. :-) Hugs!
Beth LaBuff 01/16/08
Great illustration of the verse and of the topic! I enjoyed the radio sound bites. I almost cringed when I saw where her thoughts were going concerning the HOV lane. :) You wrote this perfectly.
Karen Wilber 01/16/08
This line was perfect: "You should really get an earlier start when it's raining, you know�" Ouch, ouch, ouch!
Julie Ruspoli01/16/08
Oooo, that snooze button must have been thought up by Satan. Great message and writing. I know she was going to get a ticket.
Tim Pickl01/16/08
Masterful writing! This one could be developed into a skit for church....!
Maxx .01/17/08
perfect perfect perfect ..... everybody knows you always carry an inflatable dummy with you for emergencies like this! ;-) Kidding, just kidding! Very well done and a potential winner in my book.
Janice Cartwright01/18/08
Really great writing Cat and a wonderful start for your first week in Masters. I liked best how you brought the scene up close and personal with a blow by blow account making the reader feel as if we were experiencing everything right along with the mc. It also reminded me of the proverb 'yet a little sleep, a little folding of the hands to sleep...