The Official Writing Challenge
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01/10/08
Well done thanks for sharing it.
Very engrossing account. I enjoyed the writing style.
01/11/08
This is a sobering, thought-provoking piece. I have trouble seeing how it illustrates the proverb topic, but good writing. I would suggest moving paragraph 4 to the top to hook your reader in and weave in parts of paras 1-3 following it.
01/11/08
What a sad story, but with a hopeful ending. The opening threw me off a little and I wasn't quite sure what Alicia did, until she was strapping on her Glock and I assumed that she was a police officer. Good title.
01/13/08
You had me on the edge of my seat throughout. Spine-tingling.
01/13/08
Well-written account--I remember that day, and you've captured it well.

I think your second paragraph would be a stronger opening.

Thanks for this moving entry.