The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 796 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
01/10/08
Great story. I love the feeling of near panic as he realizes the situation that he is in.
01/10/08
LoL--I like this!! This is an excellent example of the topic!! :) The dialog was super, too! :)
01/11/08
What a fun read! I bet this could be a children's story. The character's were delightful and you showed how thier actions led to a consequence. Great job!
01/11/08
Top-notch realistic dialog. I like the references you put at the bottom, too. Great writing; you really held my interest with the characters and plot.
01/13/08
I love the attitude of this piece, and all the slang (some of which I didn't understand, but I'm sure it's correct LOL) made it feel so real. This is one awesome piece. DYING to know who wrote it!
01/14/08
Excellent!

My only problem was with the word "slothful" in the title--it's an adjective, but you've used it as a noun. Or maybe, is that part of the slang?

Your writing is outstanding and really compelling--I loved reading this very contemporary-sounding piece. Superb!
01/14/08
Love the dialogue and all the little clues that Jared is a bit on the slothful side. (ya' think?) This was fun to read.
01/14/08
I loved this story. I liked the details, the dialogue, and bike-shape stain foreshadowing the future. Great story!
01/14/08
Great! The slang kinda lost me in places, especially "pay out the Ibis Mojo". Needless to say, I appreciated the footnotes. Super cool, as we old people used to say. :) Perfectly on topic, great writing.
01/14/08
Great lesson -- and the dialogue was perfect. Nice job with the topic.
01/15/08
Good story, well written. We Sloths should have a convention - wanna come fix my fence?
01/15/08
Great job! It reminds me of the TV add, "Pay me now or pay me later."
01/16/08
What a great illustration of the verse. Your title is perfect. Super great writing! I love it!