The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 919 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
01/10/08
Oh, wow. This is powerful and beautiful and you really made me care about the characters. Fantastic description of the emotions your characters felt - that had to be hard to do in the word limit - there's so much there. I've seen God change lives like this. They're going to be OK.
01/10/08
You really caught the spirit of the topic for this week. I could feel the husband's heart as he pondered his own secret fears and regrets. Good job.
This is an awesome story of the need for forgiveness.
01/10/08
Beautiful story written with tenderness and power. I really enjoyed your expressions like, "in that solitary moment of valor."
01/10/08
Great emotional appeal—your descriptions were very intense.
01/11/08
The descriptive language is just breathtaking and the emotions and struggles so real. I was absolutely swept away by this piece. Excellent - masterful.
This is powerful and bold. Good illustration of the topic. Well done.
01/11/08
I love the powerful message this story delivers! On topic and really well written.
This was written with such power that I felt like I was right there. You had my eyes filled with tears by the time I finished reading. Wonderful work!
You connect well with your reader with phrases usch as, "Innocence and fear, different ends to the same rope, bound them captive."
Your story is compelling. I stumbled over a few word choices, but your message is strong and right on target.
01/13/08
Powerful writing. I'm all choked up.
01/15/08
Just beautiful, Loren.
01/15/08
Very stirring!Wonderful thought pattern.Good job
01/15/08
Your story aptly illustrates the kind of continuing pain violence in childhood brings to a family-even years later. You've given words to the fear a new dad would have of repeating a father's legacy like the one in your story. Beautiful images created of this important moment in a couple's life.
Very powerful story. I really could feel the heart of this man's pain and struggle. Did catch some grammatical errors..."here Randy Travis" should be "hear" and "towards" is to be "toward", but otherwise masterfully written. I have seen the power of forgiveness in my life as well as others and so I understand the power of the Lord to change hearts in the one that submits to His power!!