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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of “A Stitch in Time Saves Nine” (without using the actual phrase or literal example). (01/03/08)

TITLE: Professor K Strikes Again
By Dee Yoder


My name is Mort. And when I say Mort, I mean MORT. I wear a purple lab coat and a sequined bow tie that spins and lights up when I press a hidden button. I’ve had some spectacular life experiences. Indeed, I could fill a book with them, but I’ll only share a few choice moments.

Building things is my hobby. I built a plane once using the Popular Mechanics article, “Build Your Own Solo Plane in Two Weekends.” It took me two months to accumulate the stuff, and then another month to convince my wife to let me tackle another secret project, but oh doggie, once I got started, it was a “cinch-arino”.

I worked nonstop on that cool baby for three months, but just when my wife was starting to get mean about my hobby, I surprised her with my announcement that the marvelous machine was ready to F-L-Y!

When she laid eyes on my perfected project, a look of wonder, then bewilderment, and finally amusement, spread over her face.

“Mort…you built a plane!”

“Yessirree Bob, and it’s a dandy, isn’t it?” I proclaimed proudly.

“But…Mort! It’s in the basement, for crying out loud!”

“Yeah! Um…uh-oh. Oooh…yeah.” That was a bummer realization. I deflated like last week’s birthday balloon.

Hmm…had to get it out of the basement…righto. My wife watched me in silence for a second, shook her head, and went chuckling upstairs to finish dinner. Took me two months more to take it apart and put it together again in the barn, but what a beauty!

I love my students. They tickle my funny bone with their silly questions and their serious faces. They seem to appreciate me, too. For instance, today I wrote the entire genetic plan of the red-eyed, vestigial-winged fruit fly on the chalkboards. The entire time I was scribbling out the charts, my rolling commentary kept the class howling like banshees. I never dreamed Genetics could be so humorous to them. Weird though, when I got to the end of the third board, the chart was totally wrong. Tom pointed out to me the source of my tiny error. Seems I switched the F1 parents with the F2 offspring way back on board one. Oh well. A little erasing and an hour later, the charts were complete and accurate. Too bad the class ended before I finished the F5’s.

Just before I went home, one of my students needed to come in and do a make-up lab. I told her I’d be happy to help her out. I proceeded to carefully place Professor Beech’s bounteous and beloved beaker over the Bunsen burner. My student turned out to be cautious and observant. Very astute.

“Uh, Professor K?”


“That beaker doesn’t have a Pyrex seal on the side; are you sure it’s flame safe?”

“Oh, sure, all beakers are-oops. I guess I’m going to owe Professor Beech a new bounteous beaker.”

Yessirree Bob! An ace student, for sure. She did a wonderful job helping me mop up the mess.

My favorite class is Anatomy and Physiology. The day we went to collect animal parts from the farm down the road was a glorious example of higher education. It was a happy “co-ink-a-dink”, too, that spaghetti with meat sauce was on the menu in the cafeteria. What a great way to learn where our food comes from!

I want my students to handle the merchandise, so to speak, and enjoy the natural beauty of God’s creation. I often encourage them to “get their hands in there and learn, learn, learn!” Too bad so many were squeamish that day; they missed out on observing the beautiful cerulean color of the vitreous matter of the cow’s eye. It was gorgeous!

The Anatomy class gives me the chance to exploit my favorite joke of all time. When the students come in the door, I say, “Welcome to Mort’s Mortuary! You stab ‘em, we slab ‘em!” They love that. And it’s an apropos introduction to the “Picking Up Road Kill for Further Study” lesson. Too bad the class is right after lunch. Some students don’t seem to take my little joke well; I think the carbs are a detriment to their learning experience. Makes them sluggish and pale.

That reminds me; I wonder why Brenda Bradley turned green and ran out of class yesterday? I hope she doesn’t have the flu. I’d sure hate to have her miss the “Picking Apart Your Formaldehyde-Preserved Dog Fish Shark” lesson.

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This article has been read 1114 times
Member Comments
Member Date
darlene hight01/10/08
“Yeah! Um…uh-oh. Oooh…yeah.” That was a bummer realization. I deflated like last week’s birthday balloon.

What a hoot!
LauraLee Shaw01/10/08
I fell in love with this story, and I was chuckling throughout. Incredible humor and wit tucked within the topic...
James Clem 01/10/08
Quite a character! Well done. Loved the beginning with the plane - especially rebuilding it in the barn! :-)
Verna Cole Mitchell 01/10/08
This delightfully funny story about a memorable character really shows the point of thinking ahead. I loved it.
Benjamin Graber01/11/08
This one is hilarious!!! :)
Laury Hubrich 01/11/08
This was extremely good but, if I have any right to say this at such a masterpiece, I wish you would have stuck with the plane story only and really elaborated more. It was so very funny! You could have saved all those other great stories for another time. Love your creativity! A plus work!
Joanne Sher 01/12/08
Delightfully humorous and an absolute JOY to read. This is so fun, it should be illegal ;)
Emily Gibson01/12/08
Too funny! And I've actually had professors like this, which is very scary...
Joy Faire Stewart01/13/08
Love the humor. You had me LOL from beginning to end. Excellent!
Temple Miller01/14/08
Hilarious! I read this entry three times. I couldn't help myself. It's great.
Sharlyn Guthrie01/14/08
Mort kept me in stitches! You managed to illustrate the adage multiple times with seemingly little effort in the space of 750 words. Super job!
jodie banner01/14/08
LOL Very funny. I read it twice and found it even funnier the second time.
Rita Garcia01/14/08
Thanks for a fun and delighful read! Well written, love your characterization of Prof. K.
Betty Castleberry01/14/08
Oh Dee, what a riot! This piece has a *great* voice. The professor reminds me of a Disney movie character. The next to the last paragraph had me laughing out loud. Your professor should give himself an A.
Melanie Smith-Taylor01/14/08
This is the best one of these illustrations that I have read yet. It is funny, has a very memorable character who sounds like my calculus professor, and is a wonderful example of terrific writing. I hope you win!
Ann Renae Hair01/14/08
Wow and wow! This was great. Excellent writing. Did I say wow!?
Catherine Pollock01/14/08
Wow - phenomenal. I especially loved the end - "I’d sure hate to have her miss the “Picking Apart Your Formaldehyde-Preserved Dog Fish Shark” lesson."
Jan Ackerson 01/14/08
Oh my, I love this absent-minded professor! I'd have picked this piece as yours even without the hint: no one else can make science so highly entertaining. Awesome, Dee.
Janice Cartwright01/14/08
What is it with science profs? I had one we used to call ecto-plasm of which matter he was highly reminiscent. (he was nice though) Loved this Dee and yes it did remind me of a Disney movie. I bet you had a blast writing it.
Loren T. Lowery01/14/08
You had this character pegged from the very beginning and took us all on a "chitty chitty bang bang ride."
Now if we all could realize the consequences of our actions, wouldn't we all be just a bit less green and bent to re-do over what should have been done and sealed in the first place.
dub W01/15/08
An absolute delight to read - thanks.
Marita Vandertogt01/15/08
This is hilarious - the airplane in the basement - too funny!! You really give your character skin... I enjoyed this very much.
Beth LaBuff 01/15/08
Dee -- This is sooo funny. I'd love to watch this as a movie. Great (and hilarious) writing! :)
Catrina Bradley 01/15/08
Laughs abounding from beginning to end. Super writing!
Patty Wysong01/15/08
What a chain of events! LoL. I loved the voice and the mental picture you gave with your description of Professor K. Delightful! :-)
Sara Harricharan 01/16/08
ROFL! I really hope this does well. It is so funny, in a warm, hilarious sort of way. I like how the professor is absent-minded and so is his humor. It seems like he has some pretty good students too, to help him when beakers suddenly become, well....lol. Great job with this-one of my favorites this week! ^_^
Karen Wilber01/16/08
This man must be stopped! :-D His poor students. Really funny MC.
Julie Ruspoli01/16/08
Oh what a 'HOOT'! I can just picture Professor K standing in front of his class. Just perfect and so fun to read.
Tim Pickl01/16/08
LOL! The professor is a delight -- this story could be a children's book!