The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
12/13/07
I enjoyed your writing, especially your descriptions. You changed the POV halfway through--usually people put asterisks before switching. This story should have the possibility of publication because post-natal depression is such a hot topic.
12/15/07
Your descriptions are beautifully crisp and captivating. I felt like I was right there. Just beautiful. I think I recognize this style of writing - and if I'm right - another amazing piece from one of my favorites here.
This is very good. I was drawn into this story, especially since I have a baby. I can so relate to the need to be around people and friends and church even when you don't "want" to. Excellent writing. BRAVO!
12/18/07
I love the mysticism of the paragraph where she takes Communion and the one following it. We have lost a sense of mysticism, I think, in the modern church, and this was quite wonderful.
12/18/07
Lovely! As is usual for you, the setting, the characters, and the descriptions are perfect for your story. You have a way of bringing the historical into the future with the reader, yet you never lose the ancient feel of the setting.
I tried to comment going into your article from the link at the bricks page but it took me back to the main page. So I went back to the challenge entries, brought up your story and it worked. Hope others have not had the same problem.

All that said, your story amd writing are magnificent. I can't find a single thing to edit. The mystique and historical aura brought me right into the scene.
12/19/07
I like your title. It sets up for a story I wasn't prepared for. Descriptions are great, I really liked the names, they're so different. My only note is when her husband said he'd go to the priest, then the next paragraph shows him talking to her, did he really go at all? Or was he just thinking about it? ^_^
You took me there...beautiful. Loved the lines: Her arms...the infant slept on.
I felt her depression and healing. Well done.
12/20/07
Congratulations on your EC. I am in awe of people who can write amazing period pieces like this. Great job.
12/20/07
I really liked the style of this one. It was different than the others. I also enjoyed the topic of post-natal depression dating way back in time. Congrats.
12/21/07
Congratulations - this was one of my favorites. :) Cat