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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: The Church (12/06/07)

TITLE: Satan Goes to Church
By Sheri Gordon
12/12/07


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I can’t believe the pastor said that Satan goes to church. He even said that Satan is in church more than most Christians.

I heard it, but I don’t get it. Until I start looking around …

Oh yeah, there’s that mother and daughter who both had, um, breast augmentations. Look how the daughter dresses. So inappropriate for church, with her short, tight skirt. Satan’s definitely over there.

And look at that guy who’s in the Praise Team. He thinks he’s too cool with those cowboy boots; rocking out on stage like this is American Idol. He’s certainly not praising God … he’s just putting on a show. I really wish the Music Minister would get rid of him. His antics are distracting and make it difficult for me to enjoy the worship time.

Then there’s the elder who acts so pious – like he’s somehow more religious than the rest of us. His wife is very snooty, and I heard his daughter is pregnant and not married. Shouldn’t he be taking care of business at home instead of getting into everyone’s business at the church? Satan sure has their family in the palm of his hand.

And what about the head usher? He spends more time organizing people than he does in the church service. I’ll bet he never hears an entire sermon … and that’s probably why he wants to be head usher. He doesn’t want to be at church for God, he just wants to look important. Yep, Satan’s back there whispering in his ear to keep him busy and prideful.

Those two women sitting behind us sure have an attitude. They mumble under their breath, but loud enough for us to hear, when we sit in front of them – apparently making it difficult for them to see the screen. Then they have the nerve to act sweet when it’s time for ‘meet-n-greet.’ They know this is ‘our’ pew – we sit here every week. They could sit somewhere else – like the front row, where no one can block their view. I should really pray for their hearts … they’re obviously bringing Satan to church with them.

Uh-oh, it’s time for the offering. I need to busy myself looking at the bulletin. The ushers make you feel so guilty when you don’t put anything in the basket – they should be ashamed of themselves.

I see the Monday Bible study is starting up again. It would be nice to go … but not if that crabby old lady still attends. I don’t know where she gets off thinking she can correct my child. If she has a problem with one of my kids, she should come to me. I know I have to forgive her, but I don’t have to be in a Bible study with her. I think she might even be demon-possessed, and I sure don’t need that in my life.

Oh wow. They’re actually starting a sexual addiction support group? What is going on here? I mean, alcoholism and drug abuse is one thing, but sexual addiction? We don’t want those people at our church. And look who’s leading it. I wonder if he was, or is, a sex addict. He must be … why would he be leading it if he wasn’t? I had no idea. He seems so nice. So straight-laced. So Christian. How humiliating for his poor wife. You know everyone will be talking about her. You just never know the people Satan has under his control.

And speaking of … I can’t believe the voice I just heard. And he’s actually laughing out loud at the pastor’s joke. (Darn it, I missed the joke.) What would possess him to show up here? He cheated on his wife; left her, married the ‘other woman,’ and is now sitting with her in ‘our’ church. What nerve! And the church let him come in? Shouldn’t someone have stopped him at the door? Isn’t that the job of the elders or church leaders? I will definitely be talking to someone, or writing a letter, about this. It’s like inviting Satan himself … guess that’s what the pastor was talking about.

Well, another week of church is over. Good message today – I hope people were listening.

Grab my Bible, jacket and … oops. “Oh, excuse me sir. I didn’t see you slip in next to me; you’re awfully quiet. Do I know you? There’s something about you that’s vaguely familiar. Oh, and welcome to our church.”


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This article has been read 1025 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Sara Harricharan 12/13/07
Ouch. I say that because it really makes me think after reading this. An excellent example and message-the descriptions were so real, I felt as if I knew some of these characters already. The ending was great-really different.
Loren T. Lowery12/13/07
Great writing and message, put me in the mind of CS Lewis' "The Screwtape Letters"
Lynda Schultz 12/13/07
That last paragraph nailed it—the coffin that carries our hypocrisy, that is. Good job.
Peter Stone12/14/07
A real eye opener. It quickly became apparent that Satan was in the church via the MC's attitude, and not via all the people she was criticizing.
Joanne Sher 12/15/07
Very clever - and she hasn't a clue. Much to think about - you certainly got me in more areas than I'd like to mention.
Laurie Walker12/16/07
Ah, I am thinking slivers in everyone's eye while he/she's hoisting a mote around! So clever, and SO on the mark.
Beckie Stewart12/16/07
I can see all different sides to this story. I appreciated this.
Verna Cole Mitchell 12/16/07
Very creative and too true in too many cases. It really makes one stop and think, "Lord, give me a loving, uncritical heart."
Betty Castleberry12/16/07
Oh yeah, little does she know.... I saw the end coming right away, but it didn't stop me from enjoying this very much. Well done.
Jan Ackerson 12/18/07
Simply excellent, Sheri! So many wince-worthy phrases, and opportunities to examine oneself...good job, girlfriend.
Karen Wilber 12/18/07
Yeah - I saw where this one was going and winced a bit myself. Something in there to make everybody squirm. ;-) Love it.
Sharon Henderson12/20/07
Awesome my friend! Congrats on the EC!!!

If we could all only see what's in OUR hearts we wouldn't worry about others, would we? Great MC and great lesson!
Dee Yoder 12/21/07
Honest, realistic thoughts in this MC's head! And how many times do we do this to each other? She hasn't a clue what it all means, but having that "special" visitor sit beside her should be a wake-up call. But she doesn't even realize who he is. We excuse this behavior in ourselves, but we sure don't in others. Great job! Congratulations!
LaNaye Perkins12/21/07
Your story really points out how we can get so busy finding fault with others and totally miss our own. You did a fantastic job writing this. I loved it!
Tim George 12/21/07
As my uncle use to say, "Ain't it the truth!"

I have seen all of the people you describe and probably been all of them as well at one time or another. Great artilce.
Beth LaBuff 01/01/08
Excellent, excellent message! I'm checking out the beam in my eye on this one. Well deserved win with this. Thanks!
Janice Fitzpatrick01/04/08
This is well written with humor and so to the point-grin. Thank you for submitting this. Each of us, one time or another, probably have pointed a finger or fussed over petty things. May we nail our critical ways and anything that would hinder us to the cross and let Christ shine through with His new mercies and lovingkindness. Praise The Lord!:0) Thx again. God bless you.:0))))
Mona Lisa01/08/08
This article is humbling. I can so relate. My eye still manages to see all those things even with a plank in it. As my grandmother said last week, "sure, honey, the devil goes to church. He looks to take their souls from God." Even in the smallest ways he can be destructive. This article is a good ministering tool to ward off the destroyer.
Llewelyn Stevenson 01/11/08
Kinda knew where this was going from the third paragraph yet almost missed the irony at the end. which... made me think. Well done.