The Official Writing Challenge
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This one really kept me reading to find out what they'd finally do. Sad that they can't see that they need church fellowship. Your MCs were teens, but they could be any age. This was well done.
That last paragraph is such the clincher. You did a very good job with the voice.
Neat! Definitely "on topic", and loved the so real teenage chit-chat - and a great last liner to close. Nicely done, unique, creative, and a sad, but entertaining read.
This certainly was written the way it might have been spoken. Good out of character piece (I hope) , but it certainly deserves a good long look at. I love confrontation and I know the Lord wants us to be real, but most importantly, we should have an impact on folks of all ages and be very aware of there needs and thoughts.

You nailed the teen dialogue. This held my attention, and the last line tied the whole thing up nicely. Well done.
No chance at 201st place this week! Great story. Held my attention from the beginning to the fabulous, unexpected ending.
You nailed teen dialogue down tight and did all the other stuff right too. Should be a winner for sure.
Ah, Dub, this is awesome. Great dialog, wonderful details, and even tho I really prefer a happy ending, the one you wrote is perfect for your story.
You have the teen lingo down pat! Are you sure you weren't hiding under the table listening? Great job showing our careless attitude toward the church, and it's true not only with teens,either. You're right. It must break Jesus' heart.
Dude, this rocks!

I had a genuine *gulp* when I got to the last line, which was, like, totally unexpected. Awesome!
Dub, how can you create such great teenage-girl dialogue? The story read just like I was sitting beside them. And the last thought? My breath caught in my throat. No matter what the judges decide, this piece is an absolute winner!
The ending is really sad. I sort of kept hoping they wouldn't just blow the whole thing off, but they did. Very realistic teen dialouge, my only note is in the first line when she asks if they're going to church, is the word "are" missing?
Wow. You nailed the teenage dialogue! And your last line left a huge lump in my throat. Very creative piece. Great job with the topic.
Hey Dub, are you a teen girl at heart? Just wondering... LOL! You nailed this conversation. Great job!
Oh, my goodness. What a fantastic entry! I giggled over this line: We’d stick out there like Jenny’s tongue.”

Well done.