The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 945 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
12/13/07
Charming story. I knew something special was going to happen, but getting there was so entertaining.
12/13/07
Very sweet story and a great piece of writing, although I would love to have been taken, second by second, through the moment when the card floated upward.
12/14/07
Great ending. I was expecting a minister to pop out from behind a pew, but the card ascending was very creative and moving.
12/14/07
Excellent job on the kids' voices - sounded so authentic. A delightful piece.
12/14/07
Oh, I like this. I could just 'hear' the children talking back and forth and love that they wanted to do this. Very creative. There were a few grammatical mistakes, but overall this piece is well written.
12/14/07
Enchanting. Not only did you capture the essence of the children, you completely surprised me at the end. I would dearly love to see this expanded into something bigger. Absolutely enchanting.
12/17/07
This was wonderful. I loved the children's voices in this. But, the ending was just perfect. You gave me chills. Great story!
12/18/07
Awwwwww--how wonderful! Loved the ending! Great job with the kids' voices, too.
12/19/07
Awesome. The children's dialog sounded just right, loved their conversations, loved the Welcome card, loved the ending. Great all the way through.
12/19/07
Love the characters in here! Especially little Amy, the sentence when she said "I don't love Allen, I don't even like him" That is a keeper! LOL! Excellent job, I liked how you worked through this with light humor to a truly worthy ending. Good job.
12/19/07
This gave me a lump in my throat. You made each of those children so alive. This is really, really sweet. Nice job with the topic.
12/19/07
Excellent voice. I love the magical quality of this, and the faith of the children that the card would be delivered. Well done.
12/20/07
The voices and personalities you breathed into each of these children are priceless! It's a very tender story, beautiful crafted.
12/21/07
The mysterious atmosphere you created by having the children go into the church at night carried through the story, right up to the end! I like the children's banter and the selection of the card for Grandma. It would be nice for us as grown-ups to have the kind of cheerful faith that says "Welcome to Your New Home". Lovely story.