The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
12/13/07
Charming story. I knew something special was going to happen, but getting there was so entertaining.
12/13/07
Very sweet story and a great piece of writing, although I would love to have been taken, second by second, through the moment when the card floated upward.
12/14/07
Great ending. I was expecting a minister to pop out from behind a pew, but the card ascending was very creative and moving.
12/14/07
Excellent job on the kids' voices - sounded so authentic. A delightful piece.
Oh, I like this. I could just 'hear' the children talking back and forth and love that they wanted to do this. Very creative. There were a few grammatical mistakes, but overall this piece is well written.
12/14/07
Enchanting. Not only did you capture the essence of the children, you completely surprised me at the end. I would dearly love to see this expanded into something bigger. Absolutely enchanting.
This was wonderful. I loved the children's voices in this. But, the ending was just perfect. You gave me chills. Great story!
12/18/07
Awwwwww--how wonderful! Loved the ending! Great job with the kids' voices, too.
12/19/07
Awesome. The children's dialog sounded just right, loved their conversations, loved the Welcome card, loved the ending. Great all the way through.
12/19/07
Love the characters in here! Especially little Amy, the sentence when she said "I don't love Allen, I don't even like him" That is a keeper! LOL! Excellent job, I liked how you worked through this with light humor to a truly worthy ending. Good job.
12/19/07
This gave me a lump in my throat. You made each of those children so alive. This is really, really sweet. Nice job with the topic.
Excellent voice. I love the magical quality of this, and the faith of the children that the card would be delivered. Well done.
The voices and personalities you breathed into each of these children are priceless! It's a very tender story, beautiful crafted.
12/21/07
The mysterious atmosphere you created by having the children go into the church at night carried through the story, right up to the end! I like the children's banter and the selection of the card for Grandma. It would be nice for us as grown-ups to have the kind of cheerful faith that says "Welcome to Your New Home". Lovely story.