The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
12/07/07
Good point of view! You did well speaking as a teenager. (something hard for me) Well written.
12/07/07
Wonderful characterization - this would be wonderful for teens. You got the dialog down pat.
12/07/07
I really like this. Very interesting and creative POV. You did a great job with little descriptive details that gave the story life.

A couple typos in the middle of the story -- but easily caught with another proofing.

I thought the ending was perfect. Good job with the topic.
12/08/07
I loved this. Great mixture of teenage resentment, angst and the longing for peer acceptance. And yes, flock groups IS a terrible name!
12/08/07
Unique slant on the topic. Very well done.
12/10/07
Excellent--the teen's voice was very realistic, with the clipped sentences, the wry humor, the barely disguised resentment. Just the right tone here.
12/10/07
You developed your character so well, and the scene was entirely believable. I ached for the members of this unfortunate group. I'm glad you ended on a positive note.
12/11/07
I loved how the teens found comfort in knowing they were not alone while their moms were doing the same. The voice of your narrator is just right.