The Official Writing Challenge
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What a hoot!!! I'm guessing Amelia may need to take lessons from Mrs. Chillsome before this one is over...wish I could 'see' more! Great take on the topic...LOVE IT.
12/06/07
Those ladies are great! Their personalities came through crystal clear--they had me chuckling and shaking my head. :-) Now, I seem to remember a Mrs. Chillsome from Somewhere...
12/07/07
thanks for the giggles. glad I'M glad that home group isn't at MY house!
12/07/07
Funny ladies. The dialogue had me chuckling from the beginning.
12/07/07
Incredible creativity and humor.
"I'm Harriet, and I'm here for the throw pillows."
I'll be using this line during my next introduction. TOO funny!
12/07/07
Love how you released the humor mid-story...home group? home show! Oh no!! This was really funny.
This was certainly different. Entertaining. I expected a somber ending, but got humorous one instead. You Really needed more space here. Good job.
12/09/07
Great job, Jo-anne. Loved the dialogue and characterization. My fav things you know:)
Your story flowed well with good pace and you defined HOME GROUP. A very nice story. God bless.
12/09/07
Oh yes, my fav line: "Have we ever gone out with the checkbook and not spent money?"
Classic!
God bless.
12/09/07
So charming! Your writing just sings, and this begs to be produced as a little skit. So much personality in so few words! Excellent!
12/09/07
Joanne, this was most excellent! It was very original, very clever:) Bravo!
Laury
12/09/07
I love your humor. Great characterizations. Plus, I like that Harriet didn't undergo a transformation - she remained clueless.
What a super piece for description, humor, characterization, and message. You did it, Girl.
12/09/07
Ya gotta love the ladies! : especially Harriet with her "so where are the cookies" :) What a fun read.
12/09/07
Absolutely delightful! I can put faces with the names -- your descriptions are perfect and the personalities you built are so real. Ha! Good job -- I love it! :)
12/10/07
An absolute delight. You have such a clever wit, and tons of creative ideas. The writing is masterful, as always. Congrats in advance; you've likely done it again! :) Love, Cat.
12/10/07
LOL - this is great. Too bad the church "home group" people came across so prunish, meek and sour. I'd much rather hang out with Madge and Harriet! "Praying and paying..." love it!
This was so fun to read. I myself do not see any need for a "red pen", but I am still a beginner on all of this. I loved reading this. It had me captivated from beginning to end.
12/11/07
I've read this several times now and I still chuckle over it. :-) RED PEN: The only thing I could see was the second sentence where you're describing Harriet's response to Madge's scarf. It felt a little over done, BUT when I read the rest of the story it completely fits her character. The first times I read it I have to admit to rolling my eyes--until I finished 'meeting' Harriet, then it fit. Other than that it's a red smiley face. I like it!! Hugs!
12/11/07
RED PEN: Hmmm...it's missing something. There's no spark.
Maybe it's because there are too many characters to get to know.
Maybe you should have focused on only one and developed her more, entering into her thoughts.
12/12/07
Lol! This was hilarious to read! I liked the set up and especially the misunderstanding of 'home group' My fave characters, were of course, Harriet and Madge, loved them!

RED PEN: I thought you over-used Amelia's name, because while I'm still following her dialouge, I'll find myself bumped over to the next paragraph where she's starting them all over again, maybe you don't necessarily have to tag everything to her, but use a few more references as thier 'host'? Just a thought! this was a fun read! ^_^
12/13/07
This is so clever and humorous!! I couldn't find a 'red pen comment' if I wanted to. Fantastic writing.
12/14/07
I would love to write with this kind of wit. This was a delight from start to finish.

Red Pen: I agree with an earlier comment about needing to focus on something that would give a spark. I was hoping it would be the shy girl who only came to meet people. She had my attention and I felt let down because she was basically ignored. That's just one person's opinion, of course.