The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
12/07/07
I love stories that offer a bit of hope--thanks for this!

There were some comma faults, and a "their" instead of "there"--just a few things that jumped out at me.

Glad everything worked out for Ben in the end.
12/07/07
This is a nice story of hope. Probably not on topic but it has a good message.
Laury
12/07/07
You've written a good story on forgiveness. Your message is great! I enjoyed reading your story.
12/08/07
Very good message, and a compelling story.

I felt like a bit more description would have strengthened this story some. Show us what happened instead of telling!

Keep writing - this definitely blessed me.
12/11/07
This was interesting, I was glad to see that Ben was able to go back and try to make it all work out in spite of everything. It took some guts to do that. I wish there was a little more detail, in descriptions or dialouge, it would've made the reader feel as if they were right inside the story, instead of just looking through the window at it. Otherwise, this was pretty good! ^_^