The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
12/07/07
I'm not a huge fan of "dream sequences", but I'll admit that I've never read one quite like this!

You have an appealing writer's voice.
12/07/07
...And a heck of a dream is true! Old Mother Earth, despite all her troubles, never misses an orbit, and just keeps truckin'. God will not forsake the birthplace of His Son, which Earthlings will celebrate in just a few days. Peace on "Earth"...and Good Will toward men.
12/08/07
Very, VERY creative! This one was definitely cute. Bet you had fun writing it.
12/11/07
Unique take on the topic: that's high praise. I enjoyed it.
12/11/07
Love it! What a unique take and a great truth.
12/12/07
RED PEN: Very interesting setting! I like how you gave the planets personalities that fit them. I liked the idea of perching on the North Star.
This sentence is lacking commas to give it clarity. "I hear those Earthlings (,)she was given 7,000 eons ago(,) are contaminating, polluting and poisoning her air and water with chemicals, smoke and sewage waste."
The last "correction" was out of place. It's good, but should have been incorporated into the main story.
Nice message of being content.

Good writing...don't let the gray hairs bother you, they are a sign of maturity and you worked hard for them...

I wanted to thank you for your comments on "Gopherwood, Right" I wasn't sure if I should submit it, but I believed the Lord gave me the idea. I only wanted to get the message across without being disrespectful.

Unfortunately, after getting the grandkids on the bus I was short on time...couldn't finish formatting and got it in at 8:59 AM...thank you for your honest comments...they are much appreciated...Dave