The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1297 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
12/07/07
The sense of atmosphere is absolutely captivating. I was pulled in like I rarely am to a piece. Absolutely breathtaking.
12/07/07
Haunting, atmospheric. This makes me want to get out my church history text and do a little reading. Those early reformers were brave indeed.
12/08/07
A thoroughly unexpected plot – novel in every way.
Jan Hus was not renowned for his tact. On the walls of his church were several paintings contrasting the Bible with the attitude of the established church. One showed Christ washing the feet of his disciples, the other the Pope standing while others kissed HIS feet.
12/08/07
Wow, I am impressed by the obvious depth of your research and by the creativity in the weaving of your story. Very good.
This is well-researched and masterfully written. I enjoyed the journey back in time.
Well, sir, last week in the red ink district you wrote "Have to learn the balance still." I'd say you found the balance this week! The writing is excellent.

As far as the story goes, it was captivating (I seem to use that word a lot when describing your entries.) It was the opposite of predictable. Even to the very end. I figured when they smiled they were going to laugh and visit and eat. Instead, they passed out food.

Not being very artsy, the characters were fascinating to me. It seemed like such a unusual thing to do (acting out the death scene, etc.) that I believed it happened. Did you create these characters from scratch? I'm impressed.

My only nit pick is the sentence that began "In the 15th century..." It seemed to break the flow a tad, but it was needed, so I 'm not sure how to fix this. It was a tiny matter and did not take away from the excellent story.
Your title drew me in, but your writing held me to the very last sentence. WOW, this was very intense and vivid. I pray I will be as skilled as you some day!
12/09/07
Interesting style, a very chronological narrative, and a bit of a change of pace for you. I think the sparse style really fits the subject--I was riveted by every word.
Absolutely powerful. I was intrigued. I loved the onomatopoeia in the second paragraph and the twist at the end.
12/11/07
Wow. This caught me completely off-gaurd. I was hooked, leaning in to the monitor--I finally got to breathe when I got to the soup and bread again. LoL. What a relief that was, too! The writing style really suited the story. ...wow.
12/12/07
How do I put this: this was very regal! I loved the feel of this. You have a very articulate way with words and I just loved this line:

"The comforting aroma of fresh bread and potato soup saturated the room."

Never would I have thought of using the word 'saturated' when I was describing this. The story history was great too. Keep up the great writing! (It's truly blessed)

12/12/07
This is a truly magnificent read. From title to hanging end, I was overwhelmed at the ability God has given you.
12/12/07
Wowza! I felt like I was along for a roller-coaster ride, zooming through the scenes, staying just long enough to catch my breath and feel the emotion before rushing on. I loved the character's names and especially the footnote that explained the 95. This was very inspiring! ^_^
12/12/07
Captivating, indeed! This story could be developed into a historical novel....possibly a film! "Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.
Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you."

Matthew 5:10-12
12/12/07
Brilliant
12/12/07
You brought this story to life. It was very informative and inspiring. An inventive angle to take on the topic.
12/12/07
Wow. This is incredible. Inspiring, educational ... a wonderful read in all ways. Excellent job with the topic.
12/12/07
That's an excellent article. Jan Hus has always been one of my heroes, and the treachery by which the so called Church leaders of his day murdered him was shameful. Excellent scene with the stake and all, really have me wondering what the characters were going to do. Have you studied about Zwingli, one of Luther's peers? He was far more on the ball and also a pioneer of Protestantism. He too was murdered by the Church (in battle) for his beliefs.
12/13/07
I was very interested in what this artistic group was going to present. The drama they played out about their leader's death is an excellent way to show what happened; it really kept me reading. I like the plot twist at the end, too.
12/13/07
RED PEN: An historical essay!
You made history real and very touching. I like your setting. I could feel the sadness in the damp basement.

I think the phrase (All university students in Prague) should have come at the end of the first sentence, or leave out the pronoun in the second sentence.

"In a lantern lit dank basement, hiding beneath a humble stone house, gathered five not-so-common people.

(All university students in Prague,) they sat in silence, hearing only the howling Bohemian wind whistle through worn window shutters upstairs."

This was well written, teaching something that few in America really know.

I wrote on this theme too, only in future America.
12/13/07
***Congrats!*** ^_^
12/13/07
Congratulations, William!
12/13/07
Congratulations on your well deserved EC. This is very good.