The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
12/07/07
I love, love, love the repetition of baby steps between each section. What great imagery. And your voice is so authentic throughout--a pleasure to read.

I'd only suggest that you cut back on your use of exclamation marks. In general, it's best to rely on strong word choices to convey feeling, rather than punctuation.

This is one of my favorites on this level.
12/08/07
I definitely liked the repetition - and the authentic voice so wonderfully captured this man's journey. Love the last paragraph too.
Very nicely done. I love how his brothers in Christ did not let him slip through the cracks, and the well-dressed man clearly demonstrated acceptance. This not only covers home groups beautifully, but encouragement, gifts and the church as well.