The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
12/07/07
Sweet poem with an unusual rhyme scheme...I always appreciate that.

Since you're good with the basics of poetry, I'd encourage you to experiment with more poetic language: metaphors, similes, great imagery. That will really distinguish your poetry.
12/08/07
Lovely - made me want to join you in your group. Keep writing :)
12/09/07
Nice work on this. You had me analyzing your rhyme and meter scheme. Very creative!
A most interesting structure.
Just a thought... In the last stanza, were you to make a slight alteration to the third line, you would be able to incorporate all of the aspects significant to your home group.
"To study, worship and to pray."
To study, worship, share and pray.