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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Home Group (11/29/07)

TITLE: The Aw Thin Tick Sisters
By Dianne Janak
12/01/07


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My name is Melon Collie, and I’m a divorced widow. I was still in denial about the
divorce when Harry died, so I’m in mourning and have no intention of being happy
again.

My best friend, Anna Litical, a retired math teacher, my neighbor , Peace Ennie
Price, a recovering codependent, and my nemesis , Pollie Anna Cleaver, who never
has a bad day, decided to start an account ability group because our pastor said
we all need account ability.

No one knew quite what that was, so Peace, who became the leader, read up on the
subject. She learned “we have take off our masks, be real, and ask others for help
in our walk with God . Getting ‘down’ and openly honest is the key here.”

I’m always down, so no problem.

We all came to the first meeting without makeup, and Peace told us that wasn’t what
it meant to not wear masks. What a relief. It's a real stretch for me to love
these women with no makeup.

The book said we all hide behind facades, and the REAL us has to come out to be
pleasing to God and a witness to others. Apparently watching Dr. Phil would come
in handy here.

Since honesty was encouraged, I was relieved , because Pollie got on my deepest
nerve, and finally I could tell her the truth.

Anna Lytical came with a spread sheet and a calculator, excited to be able to use
her math skills. She wanted to show us her “account ability.” Apparently she’s getting
senile, but please don’t tell her I said that.

Polly said this was going to be easy for her, because she had “nothing to hide.”

My mission was to find some dirt on Polly. With grace, of course.

Anna started out “being real” by telling us how she has been trying to help out
her hubby lately as he seemed depressed. She’d been probing his past, trying to
find the missing link to his childhood, but coming up with nothing. She said his
depression was contagious, and she needed therapy again. We told her please pray
first, as she tends to end up analyzing the poor therapist.

Since Anna took off her “proverbial” mask by sharing, we got excited. We were starting
to account, and so far, it was painless.

That is, until Pollie opened her big fakey mouth.

Pollie thought Anna should just be sweet,loving ,and kind to her hubby, because
that always worked for her. Apparently Pollie and Willie never fight. I secretly
wondered if they even breathe.

I chose to keep quiet.

Then I realized that was a mask. I wasn’t being “real.”

So I told her “you sometimes make me want to puke.”

I felt I needed some applause here, but everyone froze.

The look on Peace’s face was priceles. This put her in panic mode.

“Now, now ladies. Remember this is group is God- centered. No confrontations until
trust is built. Polly, please don’t give any advice. We need you to tell us your
own struggles.”

“That’s nice, but I don’t struggle. God put me here to give ya’ll the answers. “

“I think we all need to know what each other’s expectations are here for our new
group.” Peace added as she passed the brownies and refilled the coffee.

Peace was obviously losing peace.

“Well I thought it was going to be math related. I did major in accounting, but
I’m willing to try whatever if you all want to do this. If you want me to talk,
then just listen and don’t give me your answers to MY issues.”

“I thought this was going to be fun, because ya’ll know I don’t do tension well.
This is harder than I thought it would be.” Peace was on the verge of crying.

“I thought I could change ya’ll ‘cause to be honest, you all have so many issues.
My testimony about what positive confessions can do for you is why I’m here. ”

“I needed a place to vent and complain because my life is impossible lately. It’s
never my fault, because I try so hard.” I was still fuming that Polly was such a
phony.

We sat in silence. Finally Peace broke the tension.

“Pastor suggested we read that book on accountability, based on scripture. Let’s
start there reading a chapter a week and discussing it.

The only rule now is MAKEUP is MANDATORY.”

We all agreed that was a great idea.


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This article has been read 785 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 12/07/07
Good allegory, and I like the wry voice of your narrator.
Laury Hubrich 12/07/07
Very clever. I just read your whole entry and just now got your title:) Good job!
Laury
Dee Yoder 12/07/07
Wow, what a group. It'd be fun to listen in on this group every week. Very cool analogy and fun to read, too. The title is perfect.
Joanne Sher 12/08/07
Fun and clever - I really liked the voice.
Sharlyn Guthrie12/09/07
I enjoyed all the plays on words. It made this a fun read.
Brenda Welc12/12/07
This is just hilarious! I loved the sarcasim (it's so me) and it just kept me reading!

Keep up the great writing!
LauraLee Shaw12/12/07
Awesome title and cute ending! Loved it.
Sara Harricharan 12/12/07
Heehee! this was just too funny to read! I liked the word play on the names and especially the dry humor-I was laughing at the last few lines. "Makeup is Mandatory" Too funny! Great job with this!
Temple Miller12/12/07
You kept me laughing through the entire story. I loved your wordplay! Very nice.
Verna Cole Mitchell 12/12/07
Your name symbolism is really wonderful. I loved most of all the sad, yet hilarious, thoughts of your mc.
Patty Wysong12/12/07
What a fun read! It'd be fun to hear more from these neighbors. I didn't get the title until I read Laury's comment (I love it!!) Good job!!
Tim Pickl12/12/07
Wow! I love the 'authentic', 'made-up' character names -- almost Charles Dicken-ish! Names do mean something.
Paula Titus 12/12/07
Creative and humorous! Thanks for making me smile from ear to ear :)
James Dixon12/12/07
This was laugh out loud funny. I must get the Mrs to read it.
Sheri Gordon12/12/07
This is very funny. I used to be in a group that sounds very much like these people. Fun story to read for the topic.
LaNaye Perkins12/12/07
I love the satire and humor here. You did a wonderful job of getting a strong message across to your audience, by using a brilliant sense of humor.
Beth LaBuff 12/13/07
This cleverly written entry was so much fun to read! I especially liked these names, "Peace Ennie
Price and Pollie Anna Cleaver".
David Butler 12/15/07
Satire at its best. What a hoot! My favourite line is:
"My mission was to find some dirt on Polly. With grace, of course."
Finally got the 'Pollie-aint-ah-clever' name. Very clever! I like the caricaturing of each character.
This is a difficult one to critique. Requires a bit of thought and study on the piece. Our own styles sometimes make our opinions rather subjective, but here goes:
I'd push the caricaturing a bit harder. Maybe let each of them speak for themselves a bit more, unless the "voice" of the narrator comes up with a wry spin on what they say. Interested to know what others think.