The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/30/07
This is lovely, and a great reminder. I like the examples you chose to use -- the same type of people we probably see everyday. The writing in this is simple, and powerful. Good job with the topic.
I appreciated the simplistic beauty of this story. I could see clearly each person's need and the heart of the one who not only prayed, but also took positive action when possible.
An excellent article that illustrates how multi-faceted is the gift of the intercessor.
12/04/07
I love the compassion shown here. Your title is perfect. This is beautifully written.
You grabbed my heart and kept it all the way through this wonderful entry. You did an awesome job on this.
12/05/07
The many scenarios in which the Holy Spirit uses the MC to pray for those in need are portrayed very realistically. The story is full of the kinds of spiritual meetings we should be aware of every day. These are the reasons we have gifts to share!
This is a wonderful reminder that everyone is in need of prayer and that we all have the gift of prayer.
12/05/07
What a great job you've done in setting each scene with its characters. Your theme runs smoothly through each one, and you've captured the hurt in each.
Requested Red Pen Comments:
I won't need a lot of red ink for these comments. These stories are lovely. Your descriptions are written with authencity. I could picture each scene.

Part of me wanted to hear more about each scene. I wanted to know what happened after that. You probably don't know, though. Still, that was what I was thinking, "What happened?" Only in Heaven. But that might be an interesting story--What's going on in Heaven when we pray. The bigger picture.

I know this will sound wrong, becasue PRAYER is such an important spiritual gift, but for the topic I wanted a little more "out of the ordinary." Okay, I feel bad for even saying it, but you said, "RED PEN." I don't at all want to belittle this most important gift! Or maybe I just wanted a more powerful ending. Perhaps a view from God being pleased with his prayer warrior, or seeing her in a situation where someone is praying for her. Just some thoughts. It's PERFECT that way it is and I had to stretch to find these things!
12/05/07
This was beautiful in a simple sort of way. I liked the short examples (I wish there'd been more to explain a few I didn't quite get) but the message was easy enough to find. Your title fits and especially the one line prayers. Excellent job!
12/05/07
Pat, I love this, from the awesome title, to the clipped writing style, to the specific examples you chose...Here's my niggle--there were some tense switches here and there. I particularly liked that you narrator will probably never knew the results of her prayers...that adds an element of melancholy, but also of submission to the gift.
I found this a very intriguing piece. The examples you gave are certainly many that I've encountered myself. So, to me, it's shows what God will put in our path at any given time when we're out doing our normal routine. The difference is that an intercessor automatically prays, the rest of us have to make a conscious effort to do so. I thought this was excellent.
I am feeling like I am not good with the red ink. Like I said earlier, you grabbed my heart and kept it all the way through. Maybe when I get good enough to be in masters, I will be able to find something to put red ink on. :/
12/05/07
To start with, Pat, you know you're one of my favorite writers, but I didn't see any of the risk taking, stretching I've come to love. Not that we just can't write a simple story, which by the way, was simply elegant. Your writing was sharp and crisp with great pace. Now, I am all about intercession and prayer and you communicated, hammered, home your point extremely well, which is our goal. But, on the creative side, after about the third small story it got predictable. You know, see a sorrowful situation and then pray.
I don't know how you could have changed it up, maybe a paragraph explaining the source of her passion for such a ministry, or maybe a flashback to a time she wished she would have received some prayer, or maybe an acknowlegement that someone must have been praying for her through some of her sorrowful times. Anyway, I just felt it needed something.
And, I am probably the only one, but I didn't get the title completely, being a companion with sorrow when the intercessor was there to defeat sorrow.
Anyway, that is just me being, probably to honest and a lil picky.
I realy did enjoy the read and was ministered to. God bless.
12/05/07
Lovely little vignettes - I have no NEW red for you, but agree that it got a bit predictable. I ADORE these, though.
12/06/07
Hi, some 'red pen' comments. I enjoyed reading about a group of realistic problems, and someone with a gift of intercession praying for them all. How often do we become desensitized to such situations and forget to pray? However, I would have preferred to have seen perhaps half the number of examples, and then showing some form of resolution and response to the prayers, even if as from a glimpse into the future. Also, not quite on topic. Intercession is not one of the gifts mentioned in 1 Cor 12 nor Romans 12:6-8.
Beautiful and powerful story. How often I've seen the pain around me and prayed... and how much more often have I been too busy to notice. Thanks for the reminder to take the time to care.