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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Encouragement (among believers) (11/08/07)

TITLE: Barnabas Speaks in the Night
By Terry R A Eissfeldt
11/13/07


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Voice One:

Isolated and alone
Heavy chains around my soul
Imprisoned within myself

Darkness now my only friend
Unkind voices in my head
Impenetrable walls of grief

I was captured unaware
Now Iím caught in deep despair
Depression pulling me into the depths

No more light to guide my way
No more sun, no more day
Salvation waits for me in Death

Voice Two:

In the night I hear Your voice
You speak a name familiar to my ear
An overwhelming burden to pray is birthed
I yield this vessel of clay to Your Spiritís leading

I feel the unity of purpose with unseen messengers
As to Your throne we bear a weaker member

With the first break of the sun
Into the ever lightening sky
The burden lifts

Voice One:


As I contemplate my fate
Filled with rage, filled with hate
I reach for pills to bring an end

But somewhere deep within my night
I hear a voice, I see a light
Remembering I have a friend

She doesnít know of my need
I havenít shared with her my grief
Would she still love me if she knew?

I put the bottle back in place
Let cleansing tears reach my face
In the dying dark hope begins to brew


Voice Two:

The phone interrupts my day
My friend is there to tell me of her grief
We pray as hand in hand we walk
Daughters of the King

Sweet release comes as weary arms are strengthened
Together we are stronger than we could ever be alone

Praise erupts from the depths of our united souls
Your will is done as we
Come together


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This article has been read 640 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Christine Dunn11/16/07
I like the unique format of this free verse poem. A good message too.
Karen Wilber 11/16/07
I love this image:
"As to Your throne we bear a weaker member"

This just begs to be read aloud!

Wonderful title.
william price11/16/07
I loved the format, the style, the pace, the message and the anointing. I favor free verse. Impressive and inspiring. God bless.
Beth LaBuff 11/17/07
Love the alternating voice and the form. I'd love to hear it read aloud too. You've left us with a lot to think about. Nice work on this!
Joanne Sher 11/17/07
Enjoyed this - much to ponder. Love the format.
Dee Yoder 11/21/07
I like the contrast you make between the two voices. The rhymed voice gives a message of despair in the meter, and the contrasting free-form voice feels less restricted. Unusual way to show the two kinds of emotions represented. I like the ending, too.
Seema Bagai 11/21/07
In a few words, you captured the depths of despair. Thankfully, voice one reached out for help.
Loren T. Lowery11/21/07
Wonderfully, creatively written to show a soul in despair and pain. Great message, beautifully told.
LaNaye Perkins11/21/07
I'm unfamiliar with this type of writing, but I like it. You did a great job on this piece.