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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Evangelism (11/01/07)

TITLE: The Message
By Clint Loup


The Message

The warm, afternoon sun gently caressed the edge of the wood near the old cobblestone mill. It was a quiet evening. At the moment nothing could pierce the silence. And then, the trampling of leaves under foot could be heard, as a little brown mouse entered the picture, racing across the landscape.
You see, his father had given him a message. And the mouse felt quite diligent about getting that message to it's destination. Although he wasn't really sure where that was.
As he zipped through town, he paused in front of the blacksmith shop. The blacksmith was a slender rabbit with long black whiskers that almost gave the illusion that he had some sort of mustache.
The mouse thought to himself that perhaps this was where he was to deliver his father's message. But no, no, no, the blacksmith had not the time to hear such words, and he casually ignored the mouse preferring to hear the idle gossip of two passing
The little mouse tried to deliver his father's message to several others in town, but sadly met with the same result. Oh, some were more polite than others, but none the the less, the message was rejected.
Discouraged and saddened, the mouse did not know where else to go. Then he noticed the woods. The sun had begun to set and the woods looked much darker now. He was somewhat afraid, but decided to go ahead. Into the woods he ran, searching for someone, a fox, a squirrel, a bug or anyone to whom he could deliver his father's message.
The woods were dark and scary. He caught a glimpse of a opossum, but only caught sight of her long enough to see her scurry away with her young. Deeper and deeper into the woods he went, until he heard a noise. The trees parted and branches
snapped. Then there was silence.
The little mouse wanted to go home so much, but it was too dark to see the way. He slowly turned around and came face to face with the blood curdling smile of an ogre. The ogre leaned over and peered at the little mouse. His eyes were like coal and his intentions impure. He snatched the mouse up by the tail and trodded down the path.
The ogre entered a castle made of cold, dark, grey stone. He threw the mouse down into the dungeon. Because the ogre did not take delight in beauty, he would punish it whenever he could.
The little mouse was very cold and afraid. But worst of all he felt as if he failed his father. Then he noticed he was not alone, a small sparrow had also been imprisoned by the ogre, and she was very glad to have company. Now the mouse thought he understood, and so he conveyed his father's message to her. She listened intently with great interest, only to reveal to him in the end that she had heard the message before, and had recieved it with much delight.
He was happy for her, but he hung his head low. He was confused and felt like a failure. There was no one he could find to deliver his father's message, and now it was too late, he would spend the rest of his life in a dark dungeon, profiting no one.
Then a great sobbing could be heard. Someone was in much pain. The mouse thought that the ogre had captured some poor beautiful creature and would at any moment throw them into the dungeon. But no one entered. The sobbing continued. The little mouse and the sparrow were curious and made their way over to the door. Looking through the bars they saw the ogre in many tears, crying "Please forgive me".
You see, the little mouse had not failed. He was exactly in the right place. For it was the ogre that had overheard the message and immediately changed. He was a new ogre. He unlocked the gate and released them. Afterwards the three of them spent the rest of their days under a large oak tree talking about the Lord.

The End

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Member Comments
Member Date
Beth LaBuff 11/12/07
I like your setting description. I think children would really like your story. It has a great lesson. Very nice and creative writing.