The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1484 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
11/09/07
What caught my eye immediately was your attention to details to make your story come alive! very realistic and well written.
Beautiful job delving into the mind of the child. This is so sad and the message is clear. Excellent job on topic!
11/11/07
Beautifully crafted and written! The child's voice is just right. Unfortunately, I know Christians like the dad in your story, and some of them are "angelicals", too! Excellent entry.
11/12/07
I love stories written from the POV of an innocent child--they really cause us to examine ourselves. Great job with this one.
11/12/07
Oh, excellent! I was right there in the restaurant, visualizing the whole scene, hearing the discourse, feeling the tension. Very well done indeed!
This made me think. Your last line is awesome. Well done.
What everyone else said! And ... I loved it! Especially liked the end. I wasn't sure where it was going .. was the father going to learn a lesson? But I was satisfied with the end line, and that's what makes a good entry! Well done. I hope you place with this.
11/13/07
Precious, sweet Meagan!!!! I loved hearing the story from her perspective, and you did a great job of putting me in the scene. (I just hope I'm not the grumpy one). I LOVE this line: "Shrinking into the vinyl seat, Meagan held her breath as her wide eyes moved from her father to her mother."
11/14/07
Great job of showing and not telling--the contrast was perfect for getting across the point. Super!!
Out of the mouths of babes...

And a little child shall lead them...

Dad (and many of us too) need's to stop and listen to the 'sermon' that is being delivered to him through his daughter.

Very, very good!
11/15/07
I cracked up when I got to this line, “We just don’t do it that way. That’s only a song. Our church doesn’t talk about it -- we leave that to the Evangelical Christians.” And the ending was perfect.
11/17/07
I enjoyed the banter between the child and her father. Too bad he didn't get the sermon inside instead of merely hearing it.

So realistic!