The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
11/01/07
I enjoyed reading this story! Hilarious entry into the mind of a "snotty" teenage girl--just hope some day her values change and deepen a little. Very believable character, though one I would hardly like to meet in person! I can identify somewhat,though, with her disappointment.

I liked the title,too. The use of a personal name always sparks my curiosity--a funny name even more so!
You captured the emotion and voice of your teen-aged MC perfectly.
I absolutely had to read this, because my graddaughter's name is Ashley,and "Smash" is her nickname.
I loved the voice in this piece. You did a great job showing your MC's shallow values. Hopefully, she will mature and see things differently. This was an enjoyable read.
11/03/07
Very funny - I love how you used the teenage voice - It's just so typical! Very well done.
11/03/07
You captured the teenage voice perfectly. This girl is horrid, just as you intended. If I thought she was real, I'd pray for her!
OOps, I think I saw myself as a teen-ager in your character! I DO remember only liking Sunday School for the boys! A very well written and "real life" piece.
Well done! I agree with the others. You did a great job capturing the spirit of a snooty teenager. Great writing!
Excellent view into the MC's character and good message.
Oh, I remember being a selfish teenager (I don't know if I was THAT bad, but I was selfish). Your MC's voice was very believable. You captured my attention and held it. Great job.
Makes you wonder how many Sunday school teachers know what their students are really thinking. The diary format worked well for this piece. Great job with the "voice."
11/07/07
Ew, I knew this girl, but her name was Robin! Is that terrible to say? You just did such a good job of taking me back! Wonderful piece!
11/07/07
Such a creative apporach to this subject! I love it! Great witing, so true!
Oh...I have a 16 year old. I can relate. Actually, it's this main character (and those in real life) that have turned off my daugher so much that she hates to go to youth group. The voice is so "right on". I chuckled a few times through this, but I know it happens every Sunday in every church across America. Excellent writing.
11/07/07
I think you excelled yourself here. I really feel that you've successfully managed to present the thought processes of a bad-attitude, hypocritical teenager. I thought the ending was great too, where everything backfired. My only suggestion is to use some other derogatory words other than just 'dork/y', to add variety.
11/10/07
Excellent, EXCELLENT job on the teen voice (you've heard that already, I know, but it's just SOOOO good!). This piece is great - and SO real.