The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
11/02/07
I really like the way you showed the phone conversations from one side only, allowing us to work out what the other person was saying in each case.
11/02/07
(Or, Did Jesus Have Something Else in Mind All Along?)
Doesn't He always :). Thank God His ways are not ours. We never know who we are writing for.
I thought it kool as well, what she thought she lost caused another to be found. And that cell phones may be good for something afterall :)
I loved the quick pace and snappy monologue. Excellent job. God bless.
I like this story, but because it was telephone conversation, I got a little confused about who the speakers were at times. I wonder if it would work to combine all the words of one speaker in a paragraph before moving on to the next speaker. Just a thought.
I loved how we knew the whole story with just one side of the conversations on the phone given. Isn't it great how God uses us to fulfill His plan--just like you showed?
Great story and cute title. I liked also that we only heard one side of the conversation. This was very clever, but if I'm not wrong (which I often am) I don't think you put close quotes when the same speaker is going to continue in the next paragraph. I was confused at first, thinking there was two speakers. I think it would have been much clearer if you didn't start new quotes with each line the MC said. But the content was great! Bravo!
11/06/07
This is a personal favorite here, I really like the cell phone vibe, very neat! Excellent writing! ^_^
There are no coincidences, ya know. ;0) This was well written and the dialogue was great. Big thumbs up.
So very clever...so "today" with all of our technology. I, too, loved the quick pace and almost hearing what the other side of the conversation would be along with the thoughts and prayers of the MC. This is absolutely excellent.
11/07/07
Very creative. Well done.
We plan, but God directs, because he knows the best way to reach anyone, at any time in any way. This is absolutely creative and just seasoned enough to keep the reader tantalized to read on. I can just imagine God listening in on the phone, smiling and leaving a message in each of your character's hearts, "Hello, this is God, and do I ever have a message for both of you..."
Great job!
11/07/07
I must admit, I had to read this twice to get all of the dialogue. I did realize right off that it was just one person talking -- with numerous phone calls. And once I visually pictured the MC with the phone, it made the one-sided conversation easier to follow.

This must have been quite the challenge to write. This style is quite creative. Good job with the topic -- I'm impressed.
11/10/07
Just EXCELLENT job of showing the whole conversation through one side of it :) Love your start, of course - and the end (the middle's good too LOL). I love that we only saw her side of the conversation - both with the phone and God. Wonderful stuff, as usual, my friend.