The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/01/07
I really enjoyed this story! I could relate to it, remembering clowny boys in my childhood Sunday school classes--including one who dropped one of his shoes into the offering plate! I could just see those boys with the gummy worms hanging out their ears and noses, and hear those girls exclaiming, "Euwww!"

The story picked up for me and grew interesting once it got into the specific scene and action. It might be good to start with the scene (or a scrap of dialogue)and then fill in backdrop stuff later.

Wonderful title. It sparked my curiosity right away!
Love the vivid descriptions, humor, and message. It sounds like a true story.
11/02/07
This was very funny. I can definitely relate - we learn so much from our mistakes, when working with kids.

I laughed at this line:
'Unfortunately, he had managed to recite the memory passage perfectly, and there were two more apertures waiting to be experimented with – his nostrils.'
11/05/07
This is a touching story. Thank you for sharing!
***CONGRATULATIONS***
Good job on this entry. I could picture the boys, gummy bears galore! Wonderful story on Sunday School.
11/08/07
Congratulations on your EC. You described the "gross" boys perfectly. (Coming from a mother of two of them.) :)
11/08/07
Congrats on your win!! This was so cute and good writing!
Nice story, good descriptions and cute characters.
Congratulations on the EC!
11/08/07
This is great! I love how you brought the verse back at the end and gave it a whole new meaning.