Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Sunday School (10/25/07)

TITLE: Bartholomew’s Adventure
By
10/29/07


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

“Bartholomew, is that you?”

*Pant, *pant.*

“Bartholomew, it’s hard enough to get six babies to have a nap after Sunday School without you coming home late. This floor shook all the way through the singing. The entire ruckus has given me a headache.”

*Pant, *pant.* “When I catch my breath, *pant* I’ll explain.”

“Bartholomew, were you chased by the janitor?”

“Mildred, he’s on to us again.”

“Well it’s no wonder. Your snooping around those Sunday School classes is going to get us into trouble one of these days.”

Bartholomew ignored his wife and continued. “I got right up close to the piano. It was awesome. They were singing Jesus Loves Me; my favorite. I managed to sneak in behind the young ones going into class. Mildred, their new Sunday School teacher, Miss Cooper, is delightful.”

“I thought you were going to find us some Sunday lunch, not check out the girls.”

“I did. Anyway, I was captivated by the way she presented the Noah’s Ark story—pictures of the ark, birds, animals, even Noah. Young Tommy asked if there were any rats on board and everyone laughed. Miss Cooper assured Tommy that if there are rats around now, they would’ve been on the ark. She spoke with enthusiasm about our Maker and His promises. Oh Mildred, you’d have loved it. It was a perfect morning.”

“So why were you panting?”

“I was coming to that. You see, Billy was about to leave the room with his Bible still on his chair.”

“Again? His parents must have replaced his Bible a dozen times.”

“I know, and I thought if I could get someone’s attention before they left, they’d see it and return it to him.”

“So what did you do, scare poor Miss Cooper half to death on her first morning?”

“No, I simply marched over to the Bible and stood on it… only I didn’t see the janitor passing the door with his broom. He saw me about the same time as Billy did. Billy stood between the janitor and me so I could get away.” Bartholomew chuckled. “You should’ve seen me run, Mildred. I slipped out the door as quick as a flash with that broom coming mighty close.”

“OK, so where’s lunch? Maybe we can enjoy some of His gifts before the babies wake up.”

Bartholomew removed the pack from his shoulder and began to unload his findings. “I found a couple of potato crisps in the foyer. A gummy bear with his head removed in the cry room and a half-eaten peanut butter and jelly sandwich in the Sunday School Hall. All while they were busy singing themselves silly,” he chucked again.

“Oh, this is great, Bartholomew. We won’t go to bed hungry tonight.”

“I’LL FIND YOU, RAT!” A voice bellowed through the walls.

Mildred began to shiver. “Bartholomew…?”

“Mildred, take the babies through the side door to the end of the stage. Take the underground route to Uncle Moses… and don’t stop until you get there.”

“Bartholomew, don’t leave us. Where are you going?”

“It’s OK. I’ll distract him and meet you at Uncle Moses’ later. I’ll be fine. GO!”

“WHERE ARE YOU, RAT?”

Bartholomew scurried back through the hole and across the stage. His feet skidded beneath him on the varnished boards, causing him to slide sideways, crashing into a pile of cables. He scanned the stage and the hall just as one of the cables hit the floor below.

“I HAVE YOU NOW.”

As fast as his little legs could carry him, Bartholomew scampered into Miss Cooper’s classroom, raced past Noah and the Ark and up the drapes on the other side of the room. There he waited.



It was dark when Bartholomew reached Uncle Moses’ place, tired and hungry. He listened, but there was no sound. He tapped lightly before entering.

“Bartholomew, where have you been? I’ve been worried sick. The babies wore out poor Uncle Moses. They’re all curled up with him on his bed.”

“I’m OK. I told you I’d be fine. I know that place blindfolded. We can return in a few weeks once the exterminators have gone and the air is clear again.”

“In the meantime, Bartholomew, you can help me with the babies. When we return home, I want you to take them to Sunday School, but no more adventures.”

“All right, Mildred, no more adventures for me.”


_______________________________________________________________________________

Author’s note: No rat or any human being was harmed during the writing of this story.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 1058 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Verna Cole Mitchell 11/01/07
Just delightful, and I don't like rats at all, as a rule.
julie wood11/01/07
This story delighted and surprised me! Wonderful dialogue.

It took me awhile to realize the characters were rats. I wondered at first what a man would be doing sneaking around a Sunday school class for food--especially since, at first mention of the six babies, I assumed his wife volunteered in the church nursery! It all came together for me about halfway through, though. Very clever!

The title also drew me in--a personal name in a title always sparks my curiosity.
Laury Hubrich 11/01/07
What a sense of humor! This was a very good story. Don't think I've ever read anything from a rat's POV before. Wonder what little creatures watch us during our Sunday School class? Hmmmm.....
Laury
Joy Faire Stewart11/02/07
Couldn't believe I was rooting for rats as I read the story! Love the unique take on topic.
Joanne Sher 11/02/07
Delightful and fun! Very, VERY creative take on the topic - you had me wondering what Bartholomew was from the beginning - at first i thought he was a dog, but then I was CONVINCED he was a person until the end. Good stuff!
Betty Castleberry11/04/07
Creative, unique, fun. A thoroughly enjoyable read.
Esther Gellert11/04/07
This was so much fun to read. Great dialogue and descriptions and definetely a creative take on the topic. Loved it.
Therese Witkus11/05/07
This is a great read and a lot of fun. Loved when he "stood on the book".
Lynda Schultz 11/06/07
Church mice — how delightful! Great story.
LauraLee Shaw11/06/07
I really enjoyed this creative piece! SO cute, cute, cute!
Patty Wysong11/07/07
How wonderful!! I loved the list of the food he found--hehe.
Pam Carlson-Hetland11/07/07
Great story. I could picture it all the way through even though I was wondering what sort of critter it was about. An very enjoyable read. Good job.
Brenda Welc11/07/07
You and I should get together (see Secret Worshipers in beginners for the Worship theme)Hee Hee! This was really cute, loved your characters! Keep up the great writing. Be blessed!
Loren T. Lowery11/07/07
Cute, creative and a fun, fun read. I like the angle you took on sharing this story!
Sheri Gordon11/07/07
This is very creative. We must think alike, though, because I did figure out the "hook" pretty early. Nevertheless, it was fun to read, and a very creative job with the topic.
Sara Harricharan 11/08/07
What a fun Sunday School adventure! I liked Bartholomew, he was so fun, especially when he found 'food'. A half eaten gummy bear, etc. ^_^ Great writing!
Dee Yoder 11/08/07
Very well crafted and interesting story! I love the characters and plot!
Shari Armstrong 11/08/07
A complete delight!!! I smiled through the whole thing :)
Carl Halling11/13/07
Absolutely delightful. Your writings are a blessing here. Long may they continue.