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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Sunday School (10/25/07)

TITLE: My Infamous Moses Day
By Dianne Janak


“I’m going to be Moses this year, if I have to pay for votes.”

“Moses would never do that.”

“My whole life will not be whole, if I don’t get to be Moses this year.”

“You do know Moses was male.”

“Exactly. This is our chance to prove we can do it.”

Our 8th grade Sunday school was off to our yearly week at church camp somewhere in N. Texas. I will avoid telling you specifics to protect all parties involved.

The camp had 8th grade Sunday schools participate from different denominations each year. Our “quest” consisted of our boys in one cabin led by Jimbo a college junior, and Pamby, a senior at SMU led our girls cabin. An insane combo, alleviating parental fears of wild parties, which made me wonder about our parents’ memories of their college days.

Our quest was assigned Tuesday to choose a Moses to lead them on a hike of his/her choosing as long as we returned for lunch. Our previous Moseses had been quite boring, uneventful, and predictable. So I secretly campaigned and promised lower taxes with no more school, and won by a landslide.

I was given my rod, ( of course) and Jimbo took one compass. Our canteens were filled with water, as we marched off in the hot summer Texas sun. I was determined to be unusual and extraordinary, so I insisted we not take the boring road. Moses, I told them, didn’t have marked roads (he did have those pillars of clouds and fire, but that was neither here nor there). We started off so happy.

Two hours later, and thirty minutes before lunch, our canteens empty, we turned to Jimbo for help. Pamby on the verge of tears,was no help, because she feared missing sorority rush a month away, .

People were a tad irritated with me as Mighty Leader because of a silly cactus patch, sticking to their legs. Jimbo’s compass was no help. There was no marker on it that pointed us to camp. We were led astray with a false security in compasses. I still to this day don’t trust them.

We were hungry and my “friends “ who had voted me in, were starting a mutiny. I would like to say I turned to God for help, but somehow I was scared to, since I had lied about lowering taxes.

The unthinkable happened. We were so late for lunch, they had to send out a search party. First time in the history of Camp -------, a search party was formed. By now, our two backup leaders (Jimbo and Pamby) didn’t even consider raising my arm to fight the fight of faith. They wanted to chop it off.

My rod when thrown down stayed a rod, and I felt so vulnerable. Some of the kids started growing a strange rash and really becoming quite ornery. I considered calling my parents to come get me, if we survived this.

Pamby was so scared, she said she would quit her sorority and repent for drinking too much, if God would save us. Jimbo tried so hard , to appear cam, but was sweating a lot, and looked weak. He almost fainted, telling us he can’t skip meals. We were now 2 hours late for lunch.

And yes we came to a river ( stream ) . Since my rod had failed me so far, I decided that we needed to cross the stream without waiting for a miraculous divide, as there just has to be help on the other side. They still listened to me ‘cause Jimbo and Pamby were cratering This showed the groups’ intelligence.

One hour later we were found and taken in a bus back to camp to a happy tearful reunion. Half our group had to go home early for poison ivy issues. I thought they were wimps, but I was immune. I guess being Moses has some perks.

The weirdest part of the experience was when we crossed that river, we ended up in a nudist colony that was right behind the camp. No, we saw no nudists, but had we seen them in hindsight I think singing… “Put on a garment of Praise” would have been effective and a great witness.

I was told my Moses days were over forever, and I was so relieved. It’s so hard to lead obstinate unappreciative people.

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This article has been read 840 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Verna Cole Mitchell 11/01/07
I loved every minute of the story by this author, who is still quite obviously not boring.
Chrissi Dunn11/01/07
Very funny and unique. Well done!
Dolores Stohler11/01/07
Aha! This was very clever and funny. There were some typos towards the end but, on the whole, you did a good job on this.
Debi Derrick11/02/07
This is totally awesome! I love the story; I love the humor. Beautifully done!
Joy Faire Stewart11/03/07
So creativity...love the humor and great detail.
Leigh MacKelvey11/03/07
This was deinitely well written and funny. A really good entry!
Debbie Howard11/04/07
You made me laugh. Thanks.
Ed VanDeMark11/06/07
How to go Moses! and I like the idea of lower taxes (I live in New York State).
David Butler11/17/07
Had a good laugh over this one too. That's how the original Moses mist have felt when he slew the Egyptian, I guess. Maybe your MC needed a dose of 40 years on the backside of a desert (of whatever kind) or just 40 chastisements on the backside :) Do Yankee kids really pay taxes??