The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/27/07
Your descriptions are very vivid, and your sense of danger was quite real. I was definitely engaged.
10/27/07
Vivid descriptions and narration. I felt like I was there in the middle of the story.
10/28/07
This is a wonderful story, written with excellent description, to show the call of salvation.
11/01/07
I enjoyed your story. It felt like something you'd experienced personally. There were two areas I struggled with it. One was when the villagers surrounded the assemblage. I had to reread it to clarify who was surrounding who.

The second was the MC's conversion. Loved that it happened, and where it happened. It just seemed a quick change for so devout a Hindu (I can't stand the 750 word limit, personally!!). I'd love to see the story expanded to reflect it's true potential. Thanks for sharing it.