The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
10/25/07
Great character study, and I enjoyed the contrasts between the two pastors.

For the older pastor's thoughts, only italics are necessary; the addition of quotation marks is slightly confusing. The reader doesn't know for sure if he's thinking or talking.

I really like your title--it drew me in.
10/28/07
Great title - and a wonderful portrayal of the softening of the elder's heart. Love the end.
10/29/07
Very nice! I think there is a word missing in this sentence though "nothing more than runaway slave of Egypt." (a-maybe?) I sort of found it a little hard to just follow the one line snippets of Thorton's change of heart. It was well done, though, it seems as if it could be expanded. ^_^
10/30/07
A few grammatical errors, but easily read. Glad to see the repentance of Rev. Thorton's changed heart, but I have been taught that it is BELIEVER'S baptism. From my reading, it seems Rev. Thorton is really rededicating his life; that he is already a believer.?.?