The Official Writing Challenge
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I liked the story a lot, especially the last line. It was a great transformation for Eliza/Elizabeth, although the name change cofused me at first.There were some P.O.V. shifts (you got into Tamara's head). Also,a few places where the tags weren't necessary.(“He SPOKE to her in FRONT of EVERYONE?” Tamara incredulously asked.)You could drop the "incredulously". The upper case words got your point across. Other than that, it really tied together well baptism and the transformed life. Good job!
10/26/07
You've created strong and memorable characters in a realistic situation which sheds light on Biblical times.

I'd suggest cutting down on your use of both adverbs and alternatives to "said" in your dialogue tags. Use the words of the women to convey emotion...then you can eliminate most tags and use the saved words for character development.

Good writing and an interesting story.
10/27/07
Interesting story. Enjoyed reading it.
10/28/07
Nice story. I thought it was interesting the way you mixed the time with current dialect and expressions. Very cool! It made the story more applicable to me.
10/31/07
Interesting take on an imagined conversation to make scripture interesting to maybe teenagers or others not familiar with the Bible. Keeping it very real. Needs some tweaking but nice job.
11/02/07
Congratulations, Marlene. Your entry placed ninth in Level 3 and 28th overall. The Top 15 in each Level and the Top 40 Overall Lists are posted each week in the Weekly Results and Highest Rankings Forum of the Faithwriters Message Boards.