Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Win A Publishing Package HERE            

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Christian Baptism (10/18/07)

TITLE: It’ll be all right on the night
By Gregory Kane
10/22/07


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

Pause. The closing notes of the well-worn hymn were cut off prematurely. Ben stepped away from the CD player and addressed his congregation.

“Friends, we come now to the central part of today’s baptismal service. I should like to invite our first candidate to come to the front. Let’s give our sister Barbie a warm round of applause.”

Ben watched nervously as Barbie made her way down into the water tank. It was the first time he had ever conducted a baptism and there were so many things that could go wrong. For instance, he couldn’t help noticing that the girl’s baptismal gown had turned semi-transparent on contact with the water. It certainly wasn’t his fault, but some of the older members would be sure to tut-tut later on.

“Sister Barbie,” he said, “do you confess the Lord Jesus Christ as your personal Saviour?”

Silence.

Ben coughed nervously. Every eye was fixed on the young woman half-submerged in the middle of the tank. No one spoke a word. The girl was normally an exhibitionist, always hogging the limelight. Thus her sudden reticence was unnerving.

“This is the time for you to share your testimony...”

Ben’s prompting was given in a stage whisper but Barbie stood there motionless, a plastic smile moulded on her lips.

Frantic now, Ben looked to the front row where the woman’s husband was sitting. Ken stared intently at his wife, urging her to comply with the pastor’s request, but unwilling, unable even, to shout out any words of encouragement.

Close to panic, Ben decided to wing it. “An unfortunate case of laryngitis,” he announced. “But, praise God, I was close enough to hear her whispered admission.”

Grabbing the girl by the shoulders, he plunged her into the water. “Upon confession of your faith,” he intoned, “I baptise you in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.” The declaration seemed to take forever and Ben started to worry that he might end up drowning his first ever baptismal candidate.

Barbie was fine – physically. In terms of cosmetic beauty, she was a mess. Her normally golden locks hung bedraggled. Her make-up had run and water dripped off the end of her nose.

It was at this moment that Ben noticed his mistake: the crown of the girl’s head was still dry! Did it matter? He didn’t know. Was the baptism valid? Had anyone else noticed? God would know, of course, but would he be bothered?

Better to not take the risk. Without so much as an ‘excuse me’ he unceremoniously thrust the young woman back under the water. Moments later, reassured that she was now properly sanctified, Ben led his unresponsive congregation in a loud Hallelujah.

The door opened.

“Ben, what ever are you up to?”

“Nothing, Mum,” he replied.

The woman’s voice suddenly went up two semi-tones. “And what are you doing with your sister’s dolls?”

“Just practising, Mum.”

“Practising?” Mystified, she cast her eye over the neatly arranged rows, the front containing all of her daughter’s dolls, the back Ben’s collection of Transformers. “Practising for what?”

“In case Dad’s still sick tomorrow. It’s too late to cancel the baptismal service, so I thought maybe I could stand in for him.”

Her response was emphatic and non-negotiable: “Ben Watson, get this mess tidied up this minute! Or your bottom will be so sore that standing is the only thing you will be able to do.”

Muttering to himself, ten-year-old Ben fished the sodden doll out of the baby bath. Shaking her dry, he laid Barbie on the ground and covered her with a hand towel. Glancing quickly through the open doorway, he checked that his mother was out of ear-shot. Then, addressing his as yet undispersed congregation, he pronounced the words of committal:

“For as much as it has pleased Almighty God to take the soul of our dear sister ... ashes to ashes, dust to dust.”


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 778 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Catrina Bradley 10/25/07
Cute! I figured out who Barbie was when I read this, "..but Barbie stood there motionless, a plastic smile moulded on her lips." but was sure at: "..where the woman’s husband was sitting. Ken stared intently .." Brilliant clues.
Joanne Sher 10/26/07
Very, VERY cute! When I saw the name, I wondered, but had forgotten I'd even considered it once I found out who "Barbie" really was. This was absolutely delightful.
Lynda Schultz 10/26/07
You had me going there.This is a super story with first-class humour.
william price10/27/07
Very creative and cute. An original vehicle to deliver your message. I enjoyed it. God bless.
Seema Bagai 10/27/07
Thanks for the laugh.
Verna Cole Mitchell 10/27/07
I loved Barbie's baptism; you ending was perfect.
Laury Hubrich 10/27/07
You got me! What a funny story.
Laury
Peter Stone10/28/07
This article is hilarious! And please don't tell anyone, but when I was baptised the crown of my head was missed too - so I really cracked up when Barbie was shoved under a second time!
LauraLee Shaw10/29/07
I'm going to be chuckling over this for days! It's a refreshing read!!!!
Kristen Hester10/29/07
How very creative and fun. I really, really enjoyed this. The writing is excellent as well. Bravo.