The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
10/25/07
Love the dialog here - the conversation among the boys feels so real. Felt like I was sitting there listening to them. Love wisdom out of kids' mouths.
10/25/07
Cute dialogue between the boys. Liked the change of hearts at the end. Rodney's dialect was a bit hard to read - be careful with that.
10/25/07
You've created memorable characters in this piece.
10/26/07
Nice story; nicely develops Christian principles about baptism and what it means. The one child's dialogue did need to be simplified.
10/26/07
Cute--the kids' conversations seemed just right for their ages and the setting.

I wasn't sure about the dialect--it seemed inconsistent sometimes, and I couldn't really place it. Would it change the story a lot if you eliminated or simplified the dialect?

I really like the concept here; very realistic and fun to read.
I loved the characterizations you created. Was Tom Sawyer there, too?
10/29/07
I loved this! Very funny, poignant, and believable. I missed a bit of Rodney's dialogue, but overall, I was transported there with those genuine children. Great job!
10/30/07
This was SUCH a fun story to read! This line made my belly chuckle:
“Yeah.” Jimmy pulled the blanket tighter around his shoulders. “But, I mean, like I prayed that there’d be a thunderstorm this morning and we wouldn’t have to come down to the river.”

Cute cute cute!
10/30/07
Really good! I liked listening in on these young boys. Their thinking was kind of flawed but they eventually came to the right answers! Well done!!!
Laury
10/30/07
I really liked the childrens' viewpoints. Very entertaining and creative vehicle for ministering your point. God bless.
10/31/07
I get that the children finally understood about the forgiveness of sin, but I missed the part when they asked for it. The dialect of the one character was unreadable maybe it could have been mentioned why his speech was worse than the others. Needs a little work for readability good effort.
10/31/07
Cute! Good for Rodney to think it through and figure it all out. I can just picture those boys trying to outdo each other. Rodney provided the serious moment to bring them around to realize the significance of what they did. Nice!
10/31/07
Very nicely done. Regional accents always make the reader work, but that's not a bad thing. This piece has the feeling of truth to it.
Well written, and I am sure it is just me that has a hard time following stories written in this way. Love the ending.
10/31/07
This is really cute. I felt like I was watching a scene from Little House on the Prairie.

The dialects were a little hard to follow at times. I even read it out loud, but some of it I just wasn't getting. (But I've read some classics where I've had plenty of trouble with the dialects, too.)

Really cute take on the topic. This is a fun read.
I kept thinking "The Little Rascals" as I read this.
The dialogue issues have already been addressed, but for me at least, it could be just because I've never hear that particular dialect.
Regardless, your kids are fun, and I'm glad they decided to do the right thing.
11/01/07
Wonderfully written. Just loved the characters and their speaking. Great job on this one!