The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
10/20/07
You've definitely got the teen personalities pegged. Great dialog, and I love the title. Great lesson, too.
10/20/07
Lots of raging hormones flying around in this piece! I loved your characters and the message too.
10/21/07
An ear-piercing whistle sliced through the arguments.

How cute is that! Very entertaining piece.
10/23/07
From your title I assumed this was set in the future - not too distant, perhaps, given the way things are headed - but wasn't absolutely positive until I read the word "autobot."

I love the way you showed not told in your writing of this excerpt. Through dialogue and inter-action you illustrated that human natures, especially teen distinctives, change little, whatever the culture - except perhaps for jargon. Really authentic voice and top-notch writing!
10/23/07
Good writing, authentic teen voices--but I think you needed a bit more to establish your futuristic timeline. There were just a few clues, and they'd be easily missed by a casual reader.

Great title, it really draws the reader.
10/23/07
Great pace and energy. Enjoyed it/this very much. God bless.
10/24/07
Once I realized it was a futuristic setting, the story took on an entirely new meaning. Good characterizations!
10/24/07
Yep, I liked the pace, too. Very teen-like. I'm exhausted just reading it. Great job of capturing their moods, voice, etc. Kept my attention throughout.
10/24/07
Sharing in Christian fellowship makes us real and puts things in true perspective. You did a wonderful job showing this.
10/24/07
Wow. I was hooked from the beginning. It had a mysterious feel and I wanted to know more. Very good writing. I was left with a few questions, but they weren't important for the point of the story. I just wanted a little more information. Like about the girl's china and why the mom didn't live there.

Great job. I loved the idea that the kids wanted to study the Bible since they weren't allowed to. Very clever. Excellent.
10/24/07
I hope this isn't our future. Good dialogue work, and an enjoyable read. Thank you.
10/24/07
Excellent job with dialogue... personalities came through clear. I enjoyed this writing and its message.
10/24/07
I like how I felt like I was in the room with this group of teens.
11/03/07
You absolutely have the teen genre mastered. Wonderful work, as always.
04/13/08
I know a lot of teens AND adults who should read this!Really good point! Thanks for the comment on my article. God bless you!