The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
10/19/07
What a sticky situation! It would be difficult to approach the teacher, but to mend the relationship, it's necessary. You made good points with your story and did it in an entertaining manner.
10/19/07
This kept my attention the whole way through. I was trying to place myself in her situation, and think about what I would do. The words of the pastor's sermon had a very important message. Well done.
10/19/07
This is excellent. Love the title. Good MC name. ;-D

I like your description of the characters and how you set up the conflict. Then the pastor's message hits home with a nice parallel.

Good lesson well presented. I'll have to remember this one.
10/20/07
What a tough situation! Glad the MC did what she should - would love to know how the conversation came out. You definitely kept me engaged.
10/21/07
AWEsome story!!!! Your title nailed it, and I love the open end....

Incredible piece.
10/22/07
Maybe Gina was talking about a another boy with the same name? That would make an interesting twist. I too am glad you left for the reader to decide. The important thing was that Karen handled the situation with true outgoing concern. I think we can all identify with the hard choice Karen had to make.
10/22/07
Before I read this, I really wanted to know what hit who "Right Between the Eyes." Your title did a good job of attracting my attention. Great message. I was kind of hoping for a definite ending, but I came away feeling that everything would turn out for the better. Good job.
10/25/07
Oooh! This is right between the eyes indeed. I like the line about feeling suffocated in the room even thought it's in the middle of worship service. Good job here! ^_^