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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Fellowship (among believers) (10/11/07)

TITLE: Hunt ‘em, Arrest ‘em, Leave one Behind
By Ruth Neilson
10/16/07


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It’s jes like goin’ huntin’. Tranquillizin’ and then injectin’ her with trackin’ ‘quipment. I could follow her every move. The second that she went to one of those gatherings, we’d know it. The bes part is she don know it.

Oh, how’d we pull tha’ off?

Easy! We arrested her church, mid-fellowship, everyone but her. She, we lef at the gathering spot, jes with one addition inta her blood circulation, a small tracking chip.

The gov’nment finally found a good use for me and ma kinfolk. You see, we’re all hunters, deer, duck, turkey...if it gots a season, we hunt it. Why we even hunt skunks! Tha’s right, skunks. They’s pelts make mighty nice seat covers fer ma mudding truck. We even hunt jakalope! Wha’, ya never heard of ‘em? Oh, tha’s right; we got all of ‘em! Might as well use our finely-tuned skilled for the good of the people, right?

Huntin’ people? Oh, right, huntin’ people...sorry, I los ma train o’ thought there. Ya see, we don hunt ta kill them people. We jes hunt to find ‘em ‘n then the po-lees arrests ‘em. I don ever gets ma hands dirty. No blood shed by me ‘n ma huntin’ buddies.

She’s on the move. The lil’ blip tha’s her on ma screen is movin’ north—to’ards an abandoned district in the city. No reason fer her ta go there. I lean over and key ma walkie-talkie.

“Red Robin, the possum is on the move.”
“Roger tha’, Skunk. Direction movin’?”
“North-north east, through that there woods.”
“Roger tha’ keep me posted.”

I stand, fit ma walkie-talkie onto ma belt, ‘n check ma boots. It’s huntin’ time.

Ma camo jacket and pants will hep me blend into the trees. But I’m jes killin’ time right now. Want her ta get settled down with her friends, get her ta relax, ‘n then swoop in ‘n bust ‘em.

Her lil’ blip stopped ‘n I smile. I picked up ma walkie-talkie ‘n spoke.

“Got ‘em! Abandoned district woods then travel five clicks west.”
“Roger, see ya there, Skunk.”

With nothin’ more, I put the walkie-talkie back on ma belt ‘n grabbed ma gear tha’ I dun got stowed in ma truck.

The hunt was on. Huntin’ and trackin’, this is wha I was trained ta do by ma pa.

Quietly, we stalk through the woods, listenin’ for ‘em. There was only so much tha’ technology can do, this part is where the huntin’ comes in.

The sound of soft talkin’ alerted us. We stilled ‘n waited, listenin’ to ‘em talkin’.

Suddenly, them po-lees were swarmin’ the group faster than an angry beehive! Some tried ta run, but they were tranq’ed where they stood...soon ‘nough, everyone was tranq’ed. They chose themselves a young girl this time ta lead us to the next group. Them po-lees dragged off their victims leaving us to do our job.

A single piece of bread caught ma attention. Wha’ did this lil’ girl do ta us? I hafta wonder. She ain’t so differ’nt.

We all eat bread ‘n hang out with our friends. Them peoples all seem ta be friends...almos’ a family. Even them lil’ ones were happy. Them lil’ ones were laughin’, dancin’, ‘n playin’ chase ‘round they’s ma ‘n pa legs. Jes like ma lil’ ones.

I gots ta wonder, why are we doin’ this?

I look at Red Robin, ‘n nod. She ain’t gonna get no chip.

No more huntin’ for me.


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This article has been read 558 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Kim Rojas10/19/07
I think using the "lingo" of an accent is good in the beginning of an article for effect. However, as the article goes on, it becomes more difficult to read it repeatedly.

I've struggled with this topic in a broken English character I had once. Do you think it's okay for us to use the "lingo" in the beginning and then revert back to standard English maybe throwing a lingo-ism in here and there? Or would it confuse the reader altogether?
Joanne Sher 10/20/07
Fun and creative :) I agree with Mid about the lingo - keep it!
Janice Cartwright10/20/07
For me this worked because I could "hear" my daughter who is an excellent impressionist/colloquialist. It was a serious subject and I commend your writing skill. (But that 'voice'in my ears kept making me laugh. :)"
LauraLee Shaw10/20/07
I have no idea how you pulled this off without a hitch. Incredible!
Marilyn Schnepp 10/23/07
Everybody to their own taste, right? The lingo turned me off...but the message was good.
Betty Castleberry10/24/07
I LOVE this. Have you been in my neck of the woods lately, or somethin'?
I liked the voice and the message.
BTW, I do know what a jackelope is. ;0)
Shari Armstrong 10/25/07
This was great! Creative and well done :)