The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
01/24/05
Sweet story line and well written! Loved the coal in the little box and the note attached. I have to say, rodent-looking pets are not my thing! Glad I'm not the only one with underpant problems! An entertaining entry. Blessings, Joanne
01/28/05
This was a great read. So much fun with a truthful lesson tucked in. Delightful.
01/28/05
I really enjoyed this story as well as the message inside of it. Liked your humor in the last line, too. God bless you.
01/30/05
An easy read, for the most part, which was really nice. It was presented well. I like the light-hearted feel it has, without sacrificing any of the punch that the message has. Definitely one of the better submissions that I've read (in this category).

Two small quibbles: I would put a colon instead of a period after the word "condition" in paragraph 6. And I would trim the length of paragraph 8 - you kind of go a bit overboard in your explanation, stating and restating the obvious. I'm not saying change the point, just have confidence that the reader will recieve the full force of your point in fewer words. As it is, the length of that paragraph slows the piece down.

Other than that, I enjoyed it terrifically. Thanks for posting it.
01/31/05
Ahh Lynda, you've been blessed with creative kids. I remember Kylie picketing in the lounge room, complete with sign, for a dog. Knowing her Dad, I thought she had as much chance of getting it as I did of becoming the Queen of England. So what a surprise when Steve bought Tiger home about 7 years ago. If he had been on a "naughty list", I think this would have had him moved. Fun story Lynda. Love, Deb