The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 534 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
10/11/07
I really enjoyed this story! Wonderfully vivid descriptions of both the church settings and the people present--I could see each one as though I were there and felt as though right there in that church--even the initial awkward feeling of being a stranger to the church.

The narrative slips from present to past tense, which jarred me a little. It would be good to keep it all in either one tense or the other.

The unusual title really sparked my curiosity!

Great job!
10/15/07
Loved how you you built the story to a climactic, worshipful ending. Nice job! :) Cat
10/16/07
The title drew me in and you kept me reading to see what happened. I could relate to the people watching in church. We're all so different - yet we come together to praise God.
Your message rang clear and distinct - we are all One in the most important of ways. Great job!
10/17/07
Very descriptive writing. You put the reader there in the pew. Good job.
10/17/07
Love the voice - and I have to admit the end took me by surprise. Super writing.