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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Calm (emotionally) (09/13/07)

TITLE: Shadows on Shadows
By Sue Dent
09/17/07


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Shadows on Shadows

Shadows on shadows, the moonlight is unforgiving as I pull free from foliage that tangles, threatens to trip me up as I race on a darkened path. Familiar ground made unfamiliar by the moon’s elusion. Reflected light ofttimes misleads.

Branches and shadows of branches scratch and tear at exposed skin.

Stinging pain.

I’m not a creature of the night; it is. I can’t decipher the shadows; it does. I hear footfalls and move faster. My first mistake in a series of many. As I move at a quicker pace, I know I stand to tempt the one following. A predator is driven by the excitement of the hunt. If I run, my fate is sealed. If I wait—

No time to question.

Logic may dictate, but I must run.

A hole swallows my right foot. The ground rushes towards me but impact is a surprise. I taste blood but there’s no time to entertain the damage. Though I’ve hit face first and know my nose is broken, I’m compelled to get back up. Not one muscle is in agreement with the alternative.

Scrambling to my feet, I wonder. How far have I run? A few yards? A mile?

A lifetime if I get away.

It can curse with a bite. It will curse if I wait.

I don’t plan on waiting.

Breaths come in hot gasp. I breathe in—my lungs fight me. I have to rest or else they’ll give out. I find a tree and fall back against it.

My brain struggles to determine how long is long enough. I’m smart enough to know I haven’t outrun the danger despite the eerie calm around me.

A noise to my left startles. I race off again.

The short rest didn’t help. My body needs more.

My legs betray me.

I go down.

“No,” my mind screams—my voice cries out.

My legs, now useless, dead weight, hamper my movement. I try to crawl. I tear at the ground to pull myself forward.

Sweat mingles with dirt. Terrified tears cut a path through the mire.

Oh God!

It’s coming for me.

“Oh, God!” I pray.

I prepare for the battle that I’ll surely loose. How can a man fight if he can’t even stand? If he can barely breath?

“Oh, God please!”

My power is made perfect in weakness.

What was that? Who said that? I look and see no one.

But I feel—I feel, calm.

“Yes,” I manage before darkness is complete.


2 Corinthians 12:9-10
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."


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This article has been read 578 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Joy Faire Stewart09/20/07
The imagery in this piece is excellent... taking the reader into the fear.
Frank Creed09/22/07
As a fan of first person PoV, this flat out rocks. Your best submission I've read--glad you chose to write what you do so well. I'm surprised at the power in this weeks pieces, but it serves as the "bump & set" for the "spike's" calm.

This is up there with a gentle rain--hope it wins, and that you're lounging by the pup pool.
Marita Vandertogt09/22/07
I love the way this ends - no easy way out except through Him... thanks for your entry - very timely!
Janice Cartwright 09/22/07
I liked this, "Logic may dictate but I must run." Like good poetry it preaches an eloquent sermon in a few marks on paper.
Dee Yoder 09/22/07
I love it, but come on! I want to know what was chasing him, and what happened...rats. Calm in this kind of setting HAS to be from God. You hooked me on this story!
Sharlyn Guthrie 09/23/07
This felt like dreams I have had! Your wording is descriptive and very effective. I love the conclusion, and yet I agree that it seems unfinished somehow. But then, life is like that. We often don't know what's coming next or even what just happened! You gave me much to ponder.
Catrina Bradley 09/24/07
A lot of suspense in your writing, making my heart race. I like the answer of the Spirit to his prayer, and the calm that comes over him upon submission to God's power. Nicely done! :) Cat
dub W09/25/07
The use of language to craft this piece shows a master's heart. Albeit your editor will curse the ground you walk - who likes editors anyway. We need help in the pen come on in.
Joanne Sher 09/25/07
What atmosphere! What description! You'll be "up here" soon! This is astounding.
Kristen Hester 09/25/07
Masterful writing. I felt the terror. Excellent.
Jan Ackerson 09/26/07
Sure, this is superb. I love the pacing--the short, wuick sentences, even the intentional fragments--they take on the same frantic pace as your narrator, leaving the reader breathless.

This is one of your best.
Sue Dent09/26/07
*jumping around and clapping* Thank-you Jan my day is complete!!
Marty Wellington 09/26/07
Well, don't think I can come up with anything more creative to say, but here goes. Loved the pace and action. It left me breathless and wanting more (which is always good).
Sara Harricharan 09/26/07
WOW! This was some ride here, I'm practically breathless following so closely I think it may be awhile before I calm down. Good job-one of your best!
Carol Wiley10/11/07
Sue, your writing is spendid! Get out the peanuts! ;-)


   
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