The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 685 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
09/20/07
You have some really great phrases here--the one about the tattoos really stood out for me, as did several others. Really great writing, and use of the topic word.
09/22/07
I loved this story! Wonderfully vivid descriptions that made me see everything and feel as though I were right there. My favorite: "coloured tattoos screaming anger on innocent skin."

Felt as though I knew Adelaide, too.

Great message!
I loved, loved, loved your story. Only someone who has known the magic world to be accessed through the portals of nature could have written this one. When I was ten years old an elderly physician friend of my grandmother's introduced me to his back yard of winding paths, fragrant fruit trees in bloom, and flowers and shrubs that covered every inch of space. Thank you so much for a delightful and poignant read.
09/22/07
It is quite a beautiful story. I could almost smell the fragrant roses from your descriptions. I like the comparisons of the gritty city that has grown up around the oasis of peace from the little garden.
09/23/07
I too am a firm believer in the calming effects of roses. They border my yard on one side, each one a precious gift for mother's day.

Watch how many times you use the word "and". It became distracting near the end. Other wise a brilliantly written piece.
I loved the contrasts you created in your story. The beauty of the roses and the peace of nature in a garden as opposed to the busy city street and the clammer of noise and children. Good images - I could see and feel the scenes.
Good story. The Master Gardener is also the Master of calm and peace. Thanks.